Q & A: 1

Q: Why are you a muslim?
A: I dunno. i think i just got lucky hehe



Q: So, be a muslim is something good?
A: Yeah. err, any reason it shouldn't be good?



Q: Well, as you can see, there are many muslims who have been convicted to crimes around the globe. That should be a reason being a muslim is not something good.
A: Well, as you can see, there are MANY PEOPLE being convicted to crimes around the globe. But, most of the non-muslims manage to escape because people chose not to care about them. Somehow, in every religion, there are bad people. You can't judge a religion solely based on it's follower. You need to see the content of the religion. In doing justice, you must not be biased. But in many cases that involved muslims, the world chose to be unjust.



Q: Ok, Ok. Being unjust? For example?
A: Hmm, how about this. Your mother gave you an apple. And then, at school, you met me, who didn't have anything to eat. A man asked you to give me a bite of it. You didn't want to, because it's yours. But the man forced you to give me a bite of the apple. You finally gave it to me. But then, I grew greedier and wanted more of the apple. And the man forced you to give more of the apple to me....



Q: Hey! That's unfair! It's mine, why must I give it to you? and the man was not being fair to me. Why did he follow your desire when he knew the apple was mine?
A: See. You know what being just is. You know how to be fair. Yes, it's true. Forcing someone to give his belongings to someone else is simply being unfair. But, in the case of Palestine and Israel, people chose to be blind and deaf. The Palestinians were forced to give their land to the Jews. Israel was officially on the map on the year 1948, greedily taking the land of the Palestine bits by bits. Now, I couldn't find Palestine officially on the map; but Israel on the ruins of Palestine.



Q: Well, that's a different story.
A: What do you mean by different? Aren't the Palestinians human like us? Like you? Like me? Arent' the Palestinians blood red like us? Like you? Like me? Tell me how different are they from those who died in September 11th. Just because we're muslims, you chose to treat us indifferently.



Q: Err, why are you so upset? Palestine is not your country. You don't know anyone living in Palestine.
A: Owh, wouldn't you be upset if your family being treated like that?



Q: Yeah, IF they're my family.
A: Well, in Islam, the muslims are brothers and sisters. Shouldn't I be sad and angry if my fellow brothers and sisters being harm in such inhuman way? Allah tells us that 'we are not true muslims until we love our brothers and sisters the way we love our own selves'. Allah promises that 'He'll help us as long as we are willing to help our brothers and sisters'.



Q: Owh. Ok, enough with that. Don't you know that muslims always being labelled as terrorist? Aren't you afraid being called a terrorist?
A: Terrorist? That's what the ignorant people called us. Terrorist? What does terrorist mean? It means, the one who creates terror. And, why are you people feel terrified with us?



Q: Because, the muslims will send us bombs and explodes themselves, and cause much harm to the public.
A: Owh. But, you didn't call those who drop the atomic bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki terrorist? You didn't call those who openly raped and killed our sisters terrorists? You didn't call those who invade the muslims countries as terrorists? Those whom you didn't call terrorist have created more terror than the muslims. You still don't get it?



Q: What?
A: That you are seeing the world in a biased perspective. How can you be fair then? You already decides that muslims are always bad and those who go against the muslims are good. See the reasons for the muslims fights. They are just trying to protect their home, their family, their pride and dignity, and their belief; they fight with their lives.



Q: But...
A: But?



Q: But, they'll die. They don't have equipments that can match their enemy. And, they would not gain anything from this war.
A: Their firm belief to God is their weapon. That's why no enemy can defeat the muslims who fight. The mujahideen are not looking for the worldly materials; they are looking for Allah's jannah. And that is more than enough to be the cause of their fights.

InsyaAllah.

PMS 2008

Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk 2008 dah berakhir; kem 4 hari di Loch Lomond, Scotland, akhirnya tiba di penghujungnya. Saudara-saudara seagama dari Czech Republik, Poland, United Kingdom, Malaysia berkumpul di sana. Alhamdulillah, Allah telah pilih kami untuk mengikuti program ini. Alhamdulillah. Daripada ribuan pelajar Muslim Malaysia yang ada, lebih kurang 300 orang sahaja yang Allah benarkan hadir.

Ada ramai tokoh ilmuwan yang dijemput hadir.

Dr. Tengku Shahrom Tengku Shahdan
"IN SEARCH OF EXCELLENCE"

• menjadi khairan ummati; umat yang terbaik
• dalam Islam, ummah mengatasi individu
  
• bagaimana? - menggalakkan kebaikan, mencegah kemungkaran dan beriman kepada Allah
• "Because I'm a muslim; God asks me to do my best in everything."- ini jawapan beliau apabila ditanya bagaimana beliau dapat mencapai top list dalam universiti.

Dr. Aiman
"TRIUMPH OVER YOUR OWN NAFS"

• Syaitans are most weak against those who have done mistakes but repented because syaitan could never win against them; God is most forgiving-Allah will forgive those who repent
• heart of a muslim: most soft towards brothers and sisters, most pure in belief, most solid in deen.
• "Why are we not upset when we upset Allah?"
  

Dr. Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin
"KELUASAN PEMAHAMAN ISLAM"

• "Bukankah ubat kepada kebodohan itu adalah bertanya?"
• Islam itu luas; tidak terbatas/terbentuk oleh budaya
• Islam itu mudah; janganlah menjadi orang yag melampaui batas
  

"Fiqh wanita"

• "menjadi wanita banyak privilege" hehe
• larangan memasuki masjid- Rasulullah pernah meminta Aisyah masuk ke dalam masjid ketika Aisyah sedang haid. Aisyah keberatan untuk masuk. Rasulullah bersabda, "Sesungguhnya haid itu bukan di tanganmu". Jadi, boleh masuk masjid dengan ada tujuan.
• pegang al-qur'an dan baca al-qur'an ketika haid; tidak menjadi masalah
• potong kuku, potong rambut etc ketika haid; tak jadi masalah :)
  

Puan Hjh Noor Zaiton Hj. Yahaya
"SUPERPOWER STUDENTS"

• accept responsibility for their own education- kena ada rasa tanggungjawab terhadap pendidikan sendiri
• ask questions- that's the bridge between ignorance and knowledge
• understand that actions affect learning- personal behaviour affects feelings affects learning
• be good time managers; don't prorastinate (dush dush! macam kena tembak huhu)
• time control=life control
  

Yvonne Ridley
"ISLAM AND THE WEST"

• oppression around the world towards our brothers and sisters should not be tolerated; Guantanamo Bay, Gaza, Afghanistan, Palestine, Gujerat; being refugees in their own land, that's injustice
  
• touched by the verse "Hold fast to the rope of Allah"; berpeganglah kamu pada tali Allah
• be firm in your belief; if you belief in Allah, no man can harm you
• seeking for the truth is always challenging; but never stop

Program ini bertujuan membuka mata pelajar-pelajar muslim Malaysia terutamanya bahawa Islam itu luas dan mencakupi semua bidang. Islam itu wajib dijadikan gaya hidup. Dan pentingnya mewujudkan hubungan yang baik sesama manusia, sebab hidup di dunia ini bukan kita sorang-sorang.

syurga dunia

"syurga mereka di dunia"

itu jawapan blogger hamka bilamana ada orang tanya bila orang kafir nak jadi miskin.

Jadi, orang Islam kena yakin; tak apa susah di dunia; sebab kita bukan kejar syurga sementara ni. Kita nak kejar syurga yang kekal tu. Yeah!

Abu bakar r.a., Umar r.a., dan Uthman r. a. contohnya, bukannya berasal dari keluarga yang miskin. Mereka peniaga yang berjaya. Tapi, semua harta mereka dilaburkan untuk jalan dakwah dan demi menegakkan Islam. Sebab mereka yakin bahawa pelaburan mereka yang ikhlas itu, Allah S.W.T. bayar berkali-ganda di akhirat kelak. Sahabat-sahabat juga yakin, kesenangan dan kemewahan di dunia ini tidak kekal dan tak mampu menjamin tiket ke syurga nanti. Malah, mungkin ada hartanya yang akan menjadi fitnah kepada pemiliknya. Faham ke? Huhu

Tapi, Rasulullah s.a.w. tak suruh kita hidup merempat, sebab Rasulullah pernah melarang sahabatnya tidak meninggalkan apa-apa untuk keluarganya. Rasulullah s.a.w. tak suruh kita hidup meminta-minta, sebab itu menyebabkan kita bergantung harap pada manusia. Rasulullah s.a.w. suruh kita rajin berusaha, dan bergantung harap pada Yang Maha Esa sebab urusan rezeki itu dalam pengetahuan Allah semata-mata. Siapa yang Allah nak bagi rezeki lebih, itu Allah punya bicara.

Oya! Rasulullah tak juga suruh kita lupakan dunia, tapi, janganlah sampai dihanyutkan oleh arus dunia. Ingat tu. Perihal orang fakir yang ada pulak, ada sebabnya. Allah tak jadikan sesuatu tanpa sebab. Fakir miskin ni, Allah jadikan mereka sebagai tiket untuk orang kaya masuk syurga. Faham ke? Sebab, macam yang saya cakap kat atas tadi, harta tu kadang-kadang menjadi fitnah ke atas orang yang memilikinya. Jadi, keluarkanlah zakat, supaya dapat membersihkan harta yang kita peroleh itu. Zakat tu pulak akan disalurkan (insyaAllah) kepada orang yang kurang bernasib baik. Orang yang kurang bernasib baik ni pulak, mendoakan kesejahteraan orang-orang yang menyalurkan duit tu...sekian. Lebih kurang macam tu la jalan ceritanya. Jadi, kalau dapat rezeki lebih, janganlah buat dunno je kat orang yang kurang bernasib baik; mungkin dalam rezeki yang kita peroleh itu ada bahagian-bahagian mereka. Wallahua'lam.

being me

At this age, it's very frustrating when i'm still struggling in finding my own identity. All i know, what I am now is just a copy of other people that i have met.

It's good to be flexible and be tolerant and just forget about who you are. But, the truth is, I never could find solace by doing that. Sometimes, people ask you to change, but it's very hard coz it's inborn within you.

I know I tend to act the way the society wants me to act in front of them. Sometimes, I managed to fit into this social groups, most of the times, I failed miserably. Because I was not being myself.

Now I understand, I am unique in my own way. My friends are unique in their own ways. Being together doesn't imply the idea of being 100% similar to one another. I understand that I am part of a complete puzzle; I'm just a piece that completes the puzzle hehe. None of the pieces is identical; so do we.

I feel free to be myself. God loves me for being myself, because He's the one who created me. Living to meet the people's expectation is hard enough; why don't I just live to God's expectation then? kan senang...hehe..amin.

did i say goodbye just now?

Did i say 'good-bye' to anyone just now? I didn't mean it, seriously. The only right phraseS i intended to say just now were "take care", "till we meet again", "keep on fighting!", and "all the best!"...nothing less than that...

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Funny. We stormed in the seniors' houses minutes after their departure. Good things should be shared. Heheh. Okay, i took lots of food....A LOT. huhu.Halalkan ye.

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Rasa tak best pulak...Alkisahnya, tadi saya nangis-nangis. Lepas tu, muram bertukar rupa; saya jadi budak yang sugar-high keluar masuk rumah-rumah yang ditinggalkan orang nih. Saya memang jenis pelupa. Lupa yang saya sedih tadi. Ishk. Apekejadahnye? hahaha cis! I shouldn't be sad just now. But the truth is, departure between friends hurts. It hurts coz you're breaking your soul apart...

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How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. ~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

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You and I will meet again
When we're least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won't say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again
~Tom Petty
.................amin...

when the wind blows, i just pray that you miss me too

cepatnya masa berlalu. Saya rasa saya baru je tidur semalam, tup tup dah tengah hari...

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The Cohort 3 seniors are going back to Malaysia, tomorrow
and I'm here struggling to find the right soothing words to cover my sorrow.
I can't say that I've spent a lot of time with them i bet
and that's one of my many regrets.


but I have my own reason for not being able to visit their houses often...
especially House 30 and 31...who were more than willing preparing us meals for the first few days of our arrival in Plymouth.
I remembered everyone was in their sleeping attire, heavy eyelids aka drowsy eyes, still sleepy. But they gave us a warm welcome into their houses. Yup! I woke them up at 8 asking for breakfast...shame on me~~ Ye la, breakfast in Malaysia is usually at 7-8am. So I thought here is the same. hehe.

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On the 17th December, Tiku, Myra and me went to House 31. Along the way, I just wished Tiku or Myra could just lead the conversation with the House 31 residents. because I could not find the right expression nor the right words to show to the seniors. I just want to feel their warmth and kindness for the very last time; just to lay my eyes upon them in person... (i know this para sounds a bit weird, but that's exactly what's inside my heart)... The conversation there on that very day often filled with awkward silence. I hate that. because when silence crept in, you're allowing yourself to be affected with your feelings...i saw someone who's trying to cover her teary eyes. and I hate that. because she left me with a sad image. and I know, I also bid them goodbye with a disturbed emotion presented via my solemn face. i hate that too.

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i know, two years time in oversea is too short if you just waste the time. Nevertheless, time flies faster when you enjoy every bit, every second of it. The only difference you can make is to create many beautiful memories while you still have the time...

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till now, i still could not organize my thought...i don't know what to say to the beloved seniors nor what to give when i bid them farewell. I don't know when we can meet again like this anymore. But i just hope we will keep in touch...internet... :P

killing me softly with your words...and insignificant stories

saya rasa saya banyak cakap...dengan orang-orang tertentu.
kadang-kadang, saya rasa saya cakap terlampau banyak sampai orang lain muak mendengar.
Ishk...tak tahulah persepsi orang lain macam mana. (><)

1.Ada orang memang peramah...ada aje bende dia nak cerita...

2. Ada orang menggunakan sesi perbualan tuh untuk meluahkan perasaan dan sekadar ingin berkongsi kisah-kisah hidup seharian.

3. Ada orang terpaksa bercakap supaya situasi tak menjadi awkward.

4. Ada orang paksa diri bercakap sebab dia takut dia tak ada kawan (mencari sense of belonging).

5. Ada orang ...kalau bercakap tak mahu berhenti dan sentiasa mahu menjadi subjek tumpuan orang ramai...konon dia lah paling pandai dalam topik tuh haish...dan paling tak tahan kalau tak bagi can langsung untuk orang lain mencelah (hish, nak kena sekeh baru faham nih). Owh! Kalau macam nih bukan perbualan la maknanya...ini lecture versi tak formal yahaha!



Tapi yang saya tahu, kalau saya pendengar, saya sendiri jadi bosan kalau cuma satu pihak bercerita.
I mean, saya boleh menjadi pendengar yang baik, tapi attention span yang pendek menyukarkan saya muahhahahha...

Kelakarnye, dalam sesi lecture, tindakan luar kawal sering cuba menyatakan tanda-tanda apabila kita kebosanan. Tak berniat pun kadang-kadang, tapi terzahir juga melalui perbuatan:

1. Menguap...kadang-kadang otak tak cukup oksigen nih, and dah hilang fokus dengan apa yang kawan saya tengah duk cakap.

2. Pandang kiri kanan...mencari subjek baru supaya minda boleh kembali fokus.

3. Mata jadi besar dan lubang hidung kembang...ini tandanya tengah menguap jurus tutup mulut.

4. Mata tengok lurus ke arah orang yang tengah bercakap (untuk tempoh yang lama). Ini pandangan dia dah tembus ke belakang dinding da...

5. Jawapan-jawapan pendek seperti: "Ok", "Hm", "Ok Ok" etc dan diselangi dengan suasana senyap yang pelik...

Somehow, I know I can be boring (ye ye , saya tahu beza 'bored' dan 'boring'). It's because sometimes I kept on talking for hours and failed to notice the listeners' body language of being bored. Sometimes, I just can't stop though I noticed the signs which left the listeners' cursing silently hehehe.

Saya tahu ramai kawan-kawan saya tak sanggup/sampai hati nak mengakhiri perbualan yag boring. Ishk, menjaga hati betul la diorang nih. Sampai kadang-kadang, dah lenguh kaki berdiri pun tak sanggup nak cakap 'stop' kat orang di hujung talian. Kadang-kadang dah panas cuping telinga, tapi masih cuba bertahan mendengar cerita-cerita bohsan orang tu. Saya boelh naik lelah kalau saya cuba bertahan macam nih. ishk.

....

hahaha. Nasib baik saya cuma perlu taip dan korang sendiri ada hak memilih untuk membaca entry-entry dalam blog ni. Walaupun bosan, tapi korang still ada pilihan nak terusakan membacanya atau tidak. Berlainan dengan bercakap dan mendengar. Ada ketika menjadi pendengar tidak memberikan kita kebebasan untuk bertindak mengikut suka hati kita heheh. Terima kasih sebab sudi meluangkan masa 'membaca' ...peace.

esainmen dah hantar tadi petang..yeah!

Semalam bukan pergi main dekat Swansea da...dekat Glamorgan, Wales. Lagi kampung daripada Plymouth ni ha. Pagi semalam jalan-jalan di sekitar Kolej sangat licin; ade la beberapa kawan saya yang saye nampak tergelincir. Sorang tuh berjaya jatuh dengan gaya yang sangat bersopan; jatuh bersimpuh kalau tak silap mata saya eheheh (bley masuk Pencarian Gadis Melayu nih.) Lagi sorang, emmm, jatuh tanpa apa-apa persediaan; tapi dia nih sibuk nak cek raket dia dulu...adus...Ajaib, seluar dia tak koyak walopun lutut dia ade scratch (lepas nih bley tanye dia mana beli seluar tuh; bley pakai buat panjat gunung hehe).

Pertama kali la semalam saya merasai betapa payahnye nak berjalan kalau jalan diselaputi ais (pegi skating tak payah la nak compare ishk). Asyik-asyik nak jatuh, nak jatuh asyik-asyik. Macam nak panjat Gunung Sinai, cuma gunung tuh licin disebabkan pasir-pasir. Dan, kalau jatuh, ngeri wooo..silap-silap jatuh dalam gaung wwAA~. Alkisahnya kat Marjon nih, sebab takut jatuh, saya pun jalan berpegangan tangan dengan cik Moon...wakakaka hehehe heheh...sorry, tak dapat tahan gelak bila teringat kitorang tak mampu nak daki jalan yang sedikit curam kat dalam kawasan perumahan nih...susah-payah nak naik jalan tuh, alih-alih kitorang perlahan-lahan terlurut ke bawah sebab kasut xde grip hehe. Ala-ala main gelongsor. Last resort, jalan atas rumput. Kotor kasut pun, tak apa la. Pasrah je. Lebih rela kotor kasut daripada kotor muka.. hehe.

Semalam cik Tiku lawan badminton untuk pertama kalinya; dan dia main untuk singles. She did better than me...taaabik! Tremendous effort, i should say. Best, best. Oh! Kitorang seri dengan Glamorgan. 4-4. Game seterusnya, bulan Januari tahun depan. Nantikan yahaha!

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Saya ada satu soalan. Adakah semua orang kat sini menjadi saangat baik hati disebabkan cuti Krismas yang mendatang nih? Christmas spirit kah? Esainmen saya tadi pun mak cik dekat kaunter tu tolong. Hantar buku lambat kat library pun tak kena denda. Bukan 1 buku, 10 buku beb! Mak cik library tuh cakap, "Don't worry. Just forget about it." Apakah?? Err, saya pun sengih je la, ucap "Happy Holliday," kat dia. Pastu keluar dari library tuh. Owh owh! Rewind~ Saya cakap "Happy Holliday." Mak cik tuh sengih balik, dia kata, "No holliday for me until Christmas Eve." Owh...kasihan. Sorang-sorang rupanya kat library yang sunyi tuh. Kalau saya bagi pinjam MP3, rasa-rasanya dapat tak mengubat kesunyian dia? Ada la jugak saya berhajat nak lepak kat library, tapi, tak adalah sepanjang hari. Bagusnya orang kat sini kerja. Kalau saya yang jaga library tuh...hmmm(thinking* thinking*)...hehe nantilah saya fikir saya nak buat apa kalau library tuh ana yang punya hakhakhak.

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Met Lesley (my personal tutor) at 5.10pm today. Huhu naseb baik ingat; sepatutnya jumpa dia pukul 5, tapi terlupa langsung sebab duduk browse internet. Naseb baik ada Cohort 3 anta email kat Mamarjon entitled, "To Cohort 3 from Lesley Woodhead". Bila pandang nama Lesley tuh, still blur; saya tahu saya macam ada buat janji dengan Lesley, tapi tak ingat. Pastu, tengok kalendar! Ya Rabbi! "Lesley; 5.00pm" Terus pakai kasut dan lari pegi cari Lesley kat Inted. Naseb baek. A series of fortunate events hehe.

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bilik sejuk.

bukan! bukan bilik mayat atau bilik freezer tuh!

oklah, bayangkan bilik korang sejuk macam duduk dalam freezer...apa korang buat?

1) cek heater korang dah on atau belum

2) pakai baju tebal-tebal sebab heater tuh macam ...mcam tak pasang walopun dah dimaksimumkan

3) berbungkus dengan selimut/duvet/sleeping bag

4) ...tutup tingkap...erk?

Cis! patut la sejuk. terlupa tadi bukak tingkap. konon-konon nak segarkan bilik. hampeh asbestos sungguh.

tutup tingkap, main air panas...minum air panas...tido...selamat malam Marjon!

esainmen anta ari Khamis, ok

Esok last game badminton sebelum cuti Krismas, to Swansea, again. Esok saya aim nak tido dalam bas (kite naik bas ke?), lantak pi la orang nak kata apa; kalau berjaga pun, saya fenin, ana fenin da..
Tadi saya cuba masak asam pedas sotong which, hehehe, x macam asam pedas pun. Now, I think I have to pay the 'price' back. Sotong tu seafood la makcik, kan dah padan muke. Heheheh~ Bila perut dah diisi, lemak naik kat otak, otak jadi lembap. Alkisahnye, terbengkalailah assignment Primary Education dari petang tadi as tuan punya badan konon-konon baring atas katil nak baca buku tapi ended up in dreaming land after a few minutes. Cis, memang bley blah.
Sekarang tengah mencari mode esainmen balik, jadi nih kiranya sebagai warm-up nak menulis karangan Bahasa Inggeris yang panjang tuh. So, peringatan, entry nih tak ade idea yang spesifik sebab tengah dalam proses nak segarkan otak balik. Hentam sajalah, labu. Macam main badminton, kesian cik Tiku kadang-kadang kena tolong saya main satu game as a warm-up. Kalau tak, tak bergerak la saya time berlawan betul-betul. Ishk, esok Tiku dah tak bley tolong ko, Tirah. Ko kene pandai-pandai cari idea warm-up gila-gila tuh...warm-up dengan dinding heheh.
Lepas buat esainmen ICT tadi, barulah saya tahu, semua benda yang bukan milik kita, kita kena bagi kredit. Ingatkan 'perkataan' sahaja yang kita perlu bagi kredit, rupe-rupanye, gambar pun kena...even gambar artis. Owh, lemahnye jari nak pegi cari satu-satu gambar yang saya dah guna dalam blog nih. I'll do it once I've finished all the assignments. Eh, did I give Him credit today? (*bisik-bisik...takkan kat Dia pun kau nak tunggu abes esainmen, mek.)
n.b. 'Mek' dalam loghat Terengganu adalah singkatan kepada 'Semek'. Orang-orang tua suka panggil budak-budak perempuan guna nama nih. Haa, kalau korang tak suka dipanggil Semek, korang just bayangkan 'semek' tuh sebagai kata sinonim dengan 'sayang' yahaha.
Teringat seorang budak bernama Nur Syuhada binti Khairul Anuar. Bley dikategorikan sebagai orang yang suit dengan perkataan moden. Tapi, tiap kali panggil saya, panggil saya 'Mek' hahahha. Layan~I loike hehe.
emmm...(tukar topik) semalam ke raya? dah lupa dah. Aidil Adha tahun nih paling tak senonoh. I mean, tak senonoh untuk saya la. Dekat kalendar pun saya buat tak senonoh. Saya pegi tulis guna marker merah 'ICT assignment' pada tempat yang sama saya tulis 'Id-ul Adha'. Pakai baju kurung pun tak. Adeh. Mira d housemate rajin pegi buat kek. Sedap. Hehe. Dia kata, "Aku rasa tak sedap sebab tak buat apa-apa (persediaan untuk Raya Haji nih). At least, buat je la satu kek."
Wohoo. jap. kalau saya kopi pes entry kali nih, agak-agak cukup tak satu mukasurat Words? ok. Len kali saya sambung cerita. Adios amigos. Peace.

cerita raket

Raket patah...ishk!

Raket lagi satu blom restring...double ishk!

Raket aku guna sekarang tension x best...triple ishk...(dah malas nak letak tanda seru coz dah pasrah...)

Apakah ini petanda? setiap kali nak dekat dengan perlawanan @ a couple of days before the game, mesti ada benda terjadi berkaitan dengan raket yang saya nak guna. >.<

Mungkin it just a way for Him to tell me that i don't need to rely on expensive/good racket to play well. If I'm very skilled, I can beat just anyone with just an ordinary racket. Huhu...

Raket yang patah tu adalah raket yang sangat ringan dan sangat best grip dia. Wooowoo. Ibu saya cakap, "Tak apalah. Kan ada lagi satu yang sama kan?"..ha'ah. Tapi raket yang sama tuh belum restring lagi. Pernah dengar jenama 'Proace'? Tulis kat raket 'Proace England'. Tapi, tak pernah pun saya nampak kedai kat sini jual raket badminton jenama Proace nih. ishk. Kesian Afiq. Dia duduk berangan raket Proace kat England nih murah; sekali, tak ada kedai pun jual hahahha...what the fish.



"a good workman never blames his tools for making mistakes."

namaku Basirah

Dear kawan-kawan,

saya mintak tolong pronounce nama saya betul2 lain kali...

bila sebut nama penuh saye, which is Athirah Basirah Dahman tuh, sila amik perhatian terhadap ejaan 'BASIRAH'.



baru lepas dengar surah Al-Qiyama, ayat 24 yg berbunyi:

(وَوُجُوهٌ۬ يَوۡمَٮِٕذِۭ بَاسِرَةٌ۬ (٢٤


dan maksudnye:
And some faces, that Day, will be Bâsirah (dark, gloomy, frowning, and sad), (24)

perhatian!!!! my name should be pronounced as 'basirah' yang mana 's' itu dibunyikan sebagaimana huruf 'sod'...harap maklum...


woooooo~~(aku tak mau jadik seseorang dengan wajah 'dark, gloomy, frowning, and sad)... entah dah berape ramai yang doakan aku sedemikian rupe bilamana diorang sebut nama aku ....sedihnye...sedey sedey...

(p.s. Nadhirah = shining and radiant.... (Al-Qiyama: 22)..bersyukurlah Nad, org selalu menyebut nama Nad dengan betul eheh, pasal tu la hang selalu berseri-seri)

gangguan x best

i don't remember since when i started to accept friend request from strangers, especially from guys. i thought they could be harmless.

well, i thought wrong! and dear girl friends, please just be aware of friend request from guys you don't even know via the electronic medias, especially on SKYPE. they're just a bunch of people who don't have any better things to do. okay, sorry. i'm not punching the line of saying that all guys are like that, but, most of the cases, they are.

the kind of people you need to be extra careful are the ones who move in group. i mean, if you ever encounter a situation like this: "you accepted a request from a stranger, and then suddenly, more unknown guys wanted to exchange contact details with you."; then, you must keep your guard high. i usually fell into this stupid game whenever i accepted a friend request from a person whose name is the same like any of my existing friends. ishk.

what these people did was, they tried to find a girl, an easy one. they can find hundreds of girls on the net and request to be the girl's friends. These kind of guys would try to start a conversation with you, using different greetings, e.g. hai, i, ai, slam, salam, hello, ello~, ellop. Well, to be honest, to those i'm not so sure who they were, i just ignored their 'ice-breaking' session LOL. but, when they gave me salam, as in "salam", "slam", "askum", i just sincerely paid the greetings back....ceh, am i that innocent?ceh

so, when these i-don-have-better-things-to-do-than-find-an-easy-chick kind of people realized that i would response to those kind of islamic greetings, they started to attack like a group of vultures. i hate them. cis, they used the 'salam' just to get me acting like an idiot. and i could sense as if they were smiling broadly whenever a reply from the girl reached their chat box. cis. hampeh betul. answering the salam, for me, i make it as a priority. so, please la don't use the 'salam' for evil intention, coz u didn't mean the peace greetings you said!

whenever the conversation started, they will try to sound as fun as possible. but, once you replied coldly, they would started to sulk. easily. when you reply like "x knal. sorry", they would said something like this, "mmg la x knal. sebab tu saye add nk knal."

ahh~~~yawn.i don have time for this. so i just let the person on the other end of line waiting. sorry, the excuse you made up just now was too ..... vague. n he excused himself from chatting with me in the next few seconds. oya! the act didn't stop there. not long after that, another guy gave you another 'salam'. you replied the salam only.... and should change your shoutout/status. i did. i said, "Wut the...ishk, apekah..? to sape2 yg berkenaan; jgn main2 ar. satgi duk main2 passing2 plak...Ya Allah, lindungi aku dari fitnah manusia dan makhluk."

all the nonsense stopped there. Alhamdulillah. So, girls, just be aware, OK. It's your dignity you're trying to protect.

tarian dan aku

Sejak kecil, tarian sudah mula menjadi sebahagian darah daging saya. Adrenalin yang mengalir tiap kali saya rancak melangkah di atas pentas makin melebarkan senyuman saya. Indahnya perasaan ketika melaksanakan satu-satu langkah tarian bukan sesuatu yang dapat saya gambarkan melalui kata-kata. Bukan hadiah atau penghargaan personal di akhir persembahan yang saya buru....cukup kalau tarian itu berjaya membuatkan hadirin menghargai nilai tarian itu.





Aduhai, saya sering ditolak daripada kumpulan tarian dek saiz badan (well, size does matter). Kadang-kadang disuruh menari tarian yang memang tak kena dengan jiwa saya. Namun, itu bukan alasan saya untuk mengangkat bendera putih dan meninggalkan lapangan ini.





Jiwa saya memberontak bilamana tidak dibenarkan perempuan menari. Aduh, bikin gawat nih. Gawat tak gawat, syariat harus dilaksanakan. Kadang-kadang, hati ini selalu didera oleh nafsu. Keinginan untuk menari itu mungkin didorong oleh hawa nafsu. Maaf, saya bukan orang yang ahli dalam membincangkan kisah akal dan nafsu.





Mungkin ada orang yang cuba menyangkal kesusahan yang saya alami.


"Ala, kalau tak nak menari, tak payah la menari." *rolling eyes*





Ishk. Penat tahu, berperang dengan keinginan-keinginan menari yang terpendam. Penat menolak bisikan-bisikan yang tak jemu-jemu bertandang. Hati ini sangat mudah terusik, sangat mudah berubah pendirian. Kadang-kadang saya rasa tak salah pun tarian Melayu yang ada sopan-santunnya. Kita bukan jual diri, kita nak buat persembahan supaya orang tahu budaya kita yang kaya dengan tarian. Tapi, ada ustaz tuh cakap kat saya, "Kalau ada penonton kamu di kalangan laki-laki, sudah tak bernafsukah lelaki-lelaki tersebut?"

Tentulah saya diam, tak tahu apa nak jawab.




Orang yang minatnya bukan pada tarian, mungkin tak mengalami masalah. Tapi, tanyalah pada sesiapa yang hatinya sudah terikat pada tarian; Jiwa mereka secara naturalnya akan membantah dan menangis di awal peringkat.





Sekarang cuma menari di dalam bilik. Tak apa. tapi, x ade tujuan yang nyata hehe.

Indian advert

I encountered a series of Indian advertisements on Youtube (wah wah, so banyak free time eh?).





This one is about permanent markers. I couldn't understand at first coz I didn't read the explaination at the beginning of this video. Now, I've watched it for more than a dozen times, still I couldn't stop smiling. No need for handsome actor nor beautiful actress to get addicted to this advert. The emotions of happily married couple are well-potrayed in this short 'drama' (just my personal opinion..heheh).

OK. The video below is specially dedicated to those who smoke in public without any consideration to other people.





haih...the world is polluted enough even without you smokers. But, pity la the non-smokers who are trying hard to inhale clean air...

Suprisingly, the Indians have a good sense of humour, and some adverts are hysterically funny. Just sharing a few laughs with you readers. Peace.

a plate of sand, a bowl of dust

I've had been trained at Peninsula Hospital for three days as a catering assisstant. The chore is preparing the food for breakfast, dinner (we call this one as lunch), and supper (which is equivalent to our dinner). But, between those main meals, you need to serve tea and coffee which i myself already lost count. (Aiyah, did i already mention all of the chores in the other entry? nevermind, i won't bore you readers about the chores anymore heheh).

Take a look at this picture:

Food is a scarce thing at this place, and this boy is an orphan who strives each day just to find enough food to keep him alive. Even if it is scattered on the floor, mixed with sand and dust, he needs to force himself to swallow whatever his little fingers could gather. He doesn't have another choice anyway.

I first saw this picture on my friend's friendster profile, and couldn't resist from grabbing it the next second. I couldn't get rid of this picture, as it already printed a vivid image in my mind. A scene telling you that the most important point is "food for life" not "life for food".

Why did I mention about Peninsula, and the next thing I wrote is about that boy eating unhygenic food? Well, during the three days in training, I 'was forced' to throw away the leftover food. It gave me such a pain, as this picture kept on emerging in front of my eyes, as if the boy was looking intensely towards me. As if he was shouting out loud; "I'm here striving for a mouthful of food, and you there easily throw plates and plates of them away!"

It just not the right thing to do (there) if you keep all the extra food. On Saturday, there was a lot of extra food, and they were all sent into the disposal machine. I sighed every single time I needed to scrap the food off the plates into that machine, until my collegue gave me a weird look. It seems as if I'm a weirdo, experiencing and explaining all these things that happened in my head. But, it's a good reflection on my life.

Sometimes, we take things for granted. and of course, 'we don't miss the water until it's gone'. I went to Egypt, and kept on grumbling about being hungry. I forgot that other people in the journey were also had had not eaten since morning. They were all very patient; I wasn't. I kept on fixing my eyes to find a food stall or whatever equivalent to it; I forgot to fix my eyes on the hungry people who were so poor that they could not even afford a single plate of food.

Seeing all those good food went into the machine, I couldn't think of anthing else but that boy in the picture. I feel fortunate to live in this part of the world. I have clean water, and good food. And I don't have to wash my self with other creatures' waste water. Still, I haven't showed enough to God how grateful I should have been.

ada apa dengan nama

this is an entry dedicated to my parents.




*beginning of speech*
thank you for giving me this beautiful name.

thank you for bringing me up in such a way that i could carry this name without any shame.



ibu, bapak

tau tak nama Kak Long itu, berat maknanya,

sebab tuh anak ibu n bapak nih x pernah ringan, serupe tule je. hahaha!



Athirah...'th' tu sepatutnya dibunyikan sebgaimana huruf keempat tulisan jawi...'tsa'



Basirah...'s' tu sepatutnya dibunyikan sbgaimana huruf 'sod'



Tak ramai yang tahu macam mana nak sebut nama tuh betul2...

tapi, kalau diorang nak sebut pun, Kak Long kesian, sebab macam susah.

so, banyak la variasi sebutan tuh...

Athirah = yang utama; yang mulia

Basirah = jalan yang jelas

maka, konklusinya...ikut nama tuh, Kak Long ade mission (cewwah)

1. Maka, sebagai anak yang pertama, kenalah tonjolkan sifat-sifat yang mulia so that adik-adik tak ikut perangai buruk kakak diorang nih.

2. Tugas utama, adalah mendidik diri supaya dapat jadi orang yang mampu bawak famili ke jalan 'yang jelas' arah tujuannya. InsyaAllah.

*end of speech. ehem ehem.*

swansea

• my tali raket putus time warm-up
• pastu guna raket yang tension lagi rendah n berat
• sikit lagi bley menang- tapi tak ada rezeki ~ishk~
• my neck became stiff sebab tidur dalam mini-bus
• salah urat bahu, tekan je sakit, sampai efek tangan
• dak swansea main dgn ganas- Mira cedera ohho
• tak jumpa botor air time nak lawan tadi- terpaksa mengharap belas ehsan teammates
• ingat nak gi mintak izin minum bila nampak air orang lain, tapi ada orang tak kasik minum- siap alihkan jauh daripada budak yang dahaga nih
• stressed yang amat- beli patung penguin so that bley ramas kegeraman
• terkejut tengok bekas simpanan shuttlecocks Swansea - macam kotak harta karun...penuh dengan shuttlecocks yang tak rosak
• pinjam duit orang tuh, pinjam duit orang nih sebab tak bawak cash
• i hate day-travel!

entry yang tak tahu tajuk

if only life is so smooth,

that you only need to glide peacefully

and expect no bumps nor hindrance ahead



if only life demands nothing,

but offering fun and enjoyment

throughout the way

then God must have forgotten you

because He did nothing to make you remember Him;

or God must have not love you

because He did not test your love.

Kadang-kadang kita lupa pada Dia bilamana kita tengah lapang dan bersenang-lenang; almaklumlah, nama pun 'insan' iaitu pelupa. Maka, dengan kasihNya, Dia turunkan kesempitan dan kesusahan supaya kita nih kembali kepada Dia.

Ishk, mana ada Allah zalim. Dugaan yang Allah bagi tu, supaya kita manusia pelupa nih dapat ingat Dia balik. Kalau Allah sayang pada seseorang hambaNya tuh, Allah akan senantiasa bagi 'something' agar hamba tuh sentiasa berada dalam keadaan mengingatiNya.

"Kalau tak tahan, mintalah pada Dia. Mengadulah pada Dia. Menangislah depan Dia. Allah malu untuk membiarkan tangan-tangan yang menadah padaNya kembali kosong." Jadi, janganlah bersangka buruk pada Allah. Dia tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kekasihNya.

Maka, redha lah dengan ujian dan dugaan yang Allah bagi.

Sabar dan redha, tak sama.

Sabar; sakit dugaan tuh kita rasa, tapi kita cuba bertahan dan kita sembunyikan dari mata kasar orang sekeliling.

Redha; tak rasa sakit pun bila dapat ujian tuh, malah rasa gembira atau tak ada perasaan (tak rasa pape yang negatif la maknanya). Sebabnya, bagi orang yang redha ni, dugaan yang datang adalah anugerah yang Allah bagi. Sape tak mau anugerah? Free, beb! Dapat saham pulak tuh...saham Akhirat la...hehheh

Alkisahnya, dalam dunia nih, Allah sentiasa menguji orang-orang yang mencintaiNya. Oh, cinta sejati mana yang tak diuji? Laila dan Majnun? Romeo & Juliet? Ini kisah cinta Khaliq dan 'abid. Maka, tak ada la kisah 'if only life is so smooth and demands nothing' tuh. Sebab tanpa halangan dan cobaan, tak tersenarai la kisah-kisah 'true love' sepertimana yang kita semua dah baca sebelum nih.

Ok. Jadi, wahai cik Tirah, belajarlah untuk jadi orang yang redha dengan ketentuan Allah. Belajarlah jadi orang yang suka menerima 'anugerah' Tuhannya. Belajarlah untuk melapangkan dada pabila musibah menimpa.

(P.S. pasni, mesti Allah uji balik sebab Dia nak tengok betul ke tidak kau buat macam yang kau cakap nih. Satu prinsip kau letak, Allah akan uji nak lihat sejauh mana benar prinsip yang kau cuba tegakkan nih. Ingat, cik Tirah; REDHA.)

buckle up!

warning; jangan sangka macam malaysia nyer iklan... x lawak...siyes

fuhh...tak senang duduk jugak tengok iklan-iklan nih. Yang pentingnya, mesej sampai...

Adik-adikku, ini akibatnya kalau tak pakai seat belt, ok. Lain kali kalau Kak Long suruh pakai seat belt, pakai! Hua hua hua (arahan seorang diktator yang penyayang dan bertanggungjawab ahhaa)

Nak kata Kak Long paranoid, suka hatilah. But anything can happen. Langkah keselamatan, ok.

lupe ke tak mau?

macam banyak mende je kene buat sekarang...tapi saya lupe...AHHH selalu lupe...


i
Kene tepon Samantha...pasal kerja kat Peninsula Hospital


ii
Kene tepon Elm Surgery pasal buat appointment pasal X-ray lutut


iii
Kene tepon orang kat tempat X-ray


iv
Kene gi klinik gigi nk buat appointment...


See, semua pasal hospital, pasal doktor...ishk
Paling tak gemar pegi jumpe doktor atau apa2 yang berkaitan dengannya (ye, even Peninsula walaupun saye cume kerja sebagai catering assisstant). Hmm, mungkin tu kot sebabnye I keep on procrastinating... (ye la tuh)

setiap kali jumpe doktor, sakit otot ke, sakit sendi ke hilang...pastu, bila dah keluar dari hospital/klinik, sakit balik...

macam ada suis on/off pulak sakit nih...depan doktor, OFF. sendiri2, ON. Penat la macam ni. Tuh la pasal saya malas nak jumpa doktor. "It's all in your mind, tirah." AHhaha, senang kalo sakit-sakit tuh bley diubati dengan hipnosis. Tak payah la sakit-sakit nanti pegi jumpe doktor; hipnosis je diri sendiri...

aish, kalau la gigi yang tumbuh berlapis nih x mengganggu saya nyer lidah dan pronunciation, tak ade hatinye saya nak jumpa doktor gigi nih... I can stand the pain, but not the sound of the machine! Weng~~ wengg~~ ngeeeennnnggg~~~~~~ (bunyi macam gargaji letrik)! Aduss, sengal gigi tau...rase mcam kene gerudi.



p.s.
badan tengah sakit...berat semacam macam tengah pikul batu yang besar pulak...lenguh.
uiks, teringat kisah Bilal kene tindih dengan batu...(><')...
(xde persamaan pun kisah kau dengan Bilal tuh, tirah)...

.angan-angan.

kalau tengok cerita korea, memang seronok berangan:-

kalau hero musti tinggi

musti kaya

musti bergaya

musti ade 'brain'

and good at fighting...HIAP!hait! hiyahhh~~!!

heheh...tapi, semua kene masuk JAWI dulu, baru bley pas eheh...(^o^)>

mmm...physical appearance penting ke?

jujur, saye kate penting.

biar la orang nak kata apa pun, yang menerima akibatnya nanti, saya jugak...

biar la sedap mata memandang, sejuk hati bila berdamping,

lelaki yang saya rasa selamat bersamanya (eh, bukan body-builder ye...x seswai...saye nih pun dah ahli bina badan)

ye, saya tahu, tak ada siapa pun yang sempurna...

yang saya cari bukanlah Adam yang sempurna,

tapi, biarlah kekurangannya itu dapat saya terima,

kerana saya juga punyai kelemahan tersedia

yang saya harap tidak mencacatkan saya pada pandangannya...

hehh, tak salah berangan...tapi, salahnya bila angan-angan jadi igauan siang malam. Nanti duk berangan je...ishk...

kemahuan vs. terbaik

Dah macam rutin rasanya pergi ke gelanggang badminton. Penat, tapi tak jemu sebab adanya kawan-kawan yang semangatnya menyala-nyala (hahahhaha, moga-moga kita semua pun camtu dalam semua perkara ...erk..DUSH ><

Pulang dari latihan badminton semalam pun sama; tetap bising dengan cerita-cerita. Tapi, ada sesuatu yang mengusik perasaan saya semalam. Topiknya ringan, namun impaknya berat pada jiwa saya. Cerita pasal 'boyfriend'-'girlfriend'. mmmm....

Katakan saya tahu kawan saya suka pada seseorang, saya akan terus sokong dan usahakan agar kawan saya tuh dapat lelaki yang dia inginkan. Saya tumpang bahagia kalau kawan saya bahagia... Tergamam juga saya bilamana ditegur, "Habis tu, kau nak dia dengan mamat tuh? Setakat kawan kita tuh, mamat tuh buat main je."... lebih kurang begitulah ayatnya... Saya senyap; tak, saya tak marah dengan apa yang saya dengar sebab ada kebenaran terselit dalam kata-kata itu.

Saya tahu selama ini, saya tak berfikir panjang dalam membuat sesuatu perkara. Tapi baru semalam saya menyedari saya ini bukan insan yang kritis dalam membuat penilaian. Pada saya (yang akalnya sejemput cuma), seburuk mana pun lelaki yang diminati kawan saya tuh, saya harap lelaki itu tak akan menyebabkan kawan saya hidup susah e.g. susah hati, resah jiwa, pendam rasa... Harapan saya, lelaki yang kawan saya suka, tak akan main-mainkan kawan saya ini. Maka, saya tak sanggup highlight kan keburukan lelaki tersebut. Nampaknya, terlalu positif pun buruk akibatnya. Dan yang menerima kesannya tentulah si dara yang mengharap.

Kadang-kadang saya tengok orang ada couple, saya pun rasa nak ada couple. Tapi, bila saya fikir balik, tak apalah, saya belum bersedia. Belum bersedia dari sudut emosi. Emosi tak stabil, macam mana nak ada hubungan yang stabil? Saya belum boleh selesa dengan diri saya, macam mana saya nak buatkan si dia selesa dengan saya? eheh. Lagipun, saya tengok contoh di sekeliling, ramai yang terpaksa 'meredah hujan di tengah hari'. Saya tak sanggup.

Jadi, buat kawan-kawan, saya tumpang bahagia melihat korang bahagia, boleh? Tapi, sebab saya ini tak memahami dunia couple nih, maafkan saya kalau tak dapat menyelami perasaan korang. Tapi, saya doakan agar pilihan korang adalah pilihan terbaik yang telah Allah sediakan. Allah Maha Mengetahui, kan?

"Boleh jadi apa yang kamu suka bukanlah yang terbaik buatmu.

Dan boleh jadi perkara yang kamu tidak suka, adalah baik buatmu.

Allah pasti memberikan yang terbaik untuk hamba-hambaNya."

Kita tak tahu macam mana kisah kita nanti di hari-hari mendatang; saya cuma tahu, Allah Maha Mendengar... maka, mintalah pada Dia agar diberikan kita pilihan yang terbaik...Amin.

p.s. Terbaik, bukan sesuatu yang dapat diukur melalui banyaknya wang ringgit atau tingginya kedudukan. Bukanlah terbaik itu maksudnya nombor satu. Ia pilihan yang terbaik bila mana kita dapat mengambil iktibar dan belajar mengenal Allah dan mengenal diri. Bukankah orang-orang yang beriman sentiasa mengambil pengajaran daripada sejarah? terbaik sesuatu pilihan bila mana ia mendekatkan kita pada Illahi. insyaAllah....

Nottingham Malaysian Games 2008

grrrrr

I spent nearly one hour just now to compose a new entry! ishk, and then, due to my clumsiness, the whole thing was deleted. cit, and then, i need to find the mood again to write about the same thing. cit!

herk....

tarik nafas, lepas...tarik, lepas~~

Bismillah.

For the first time, I went to Nottingham for the prestigeous Nottingham Malaysian Games 2008. Heheh, main badminton (lagi? hahaha). Yup, I took part in singles, Moon and Patrick in mixed doubles while Ariff and basir in men singles. We all lost in the early rounds, heheh.

But winning is not as important as taking part in the game (well, if you win, it's a bonus, kan?). I'm really proud with my contingent, they have a very high sport spirit; the netball team, the football team (which combines students from Marjon and Uni Plymouth) and the badminton team all deserve a big round of applause from everyone. Oh ya! Don't forget the supporters who loyally stay by our side to give us support and continuous help. thank you~~~

The journey to Nottingham started at midnight, 7th Nov. Everybody was in their black/blue black attire, with a bundle of food stuffed in the bags. I wasn't sure what to bring, so I packed my bag with all the toiletries and some clean clothes, .....and some food....and drinks....and chocolate. hehehe...oya! the travel sickness nyer tablets...The seat was stiff, but that didn't really bother me; i could sleep in any circumstances...escpecially when I'm nerveous (the mind just shut down).

We arrived at about 5.30am on the 8th November. Too early for sure, so we stayed/slept in the bus until 6.15am. I was too hungry, so before 6.15, i already finished all the sandwiches prepared earlier. Huhu.

When it was around 8 am, the surrounding became clearer. And, believe me, it was a beautiful place. The leaves were mostly in their autumn colours, driving most of us insane taking pictures here and there. I was the one who couldn't let my hand off the camera. Cantik sangat~~ Marjon? Tak kuning semua, tau-tau dah gugur ke bumi ishk.

cepat!cepat!senyum~~

ishk hahahha korang asyik nak tengok belakang

gune timer, senyum~~

I played singles, Basir and Ariff also in singles while Moon and Patrick played mixed doubles. None of us could manage to pass through the prelimenary round. I lost in second round to Sharon from Cambridge. I thought I could win, but because she could answer all my strokes, I went blank. I didn't know what to do. I didn't play like I used to play. I lost my rhythm. Well, I did fight, but it wasn't good enough. Tak ade rezeki. Well, ada la sekali terbuat 'split' masa nak ambil shuttle kat jaring, errr, and everyone macam *gasp*! Oh, unfortunately, I didn't hit the shuttle hard enough to let it fly over the net...haih...

I know I have 'stage fright', and every time during competition, I had to fight it. The heart beats so fast, that at some points of time, u feel like your chest is going to explode and you're going to collapse. Lucky for me, there were two dear friends who kept gosok-ing my back to calm me down. In the court, I had to rely on my self, as my hands were shaking LOL. I wonder if other participants felt like me, and how they could overcome it is something I would like to hear.

All and all, it was a great experience. Worth the amount of money we spent for the long journey. I met a couple of my ex-schoolmates there, Salam and Lim Sin Wee. hahaha, both are brilliant students, straight As scorers, and both indulge in the world of badminton. I made new friends; from Sunderland , from Southampton and from Nottingham; no suprise, they are all Malaysians.

Hmm...one good thing I could feel was I didn't see the gap between races there among Malaysians; which in Malaysia was a big issue being heated over and over again for the political gains. Di sini, kurang tekanan dari pihak-pihak yang tertentu. Bebas dari kongkongan mak ayah, bebas dari tekanan politik dan bebas dari belenggu 'adat dan budaya' melampau setiap kaum. Di sini tiada siapa kenal diri mereka, di sini, mereka boleh memilih identiti sendiri. Dan kerana itulah, kebebasan memilih identiti (mungkin tidak relevan untuk MARJON), menyebabkan saya sukar mengenalpasti keturunan pelajar-pelajar yang saya temui di Nottingham. Tapi, tak mengapa. Bangsa tak sepenting agama. Kerana agama itu sahaja yang membezakan antara kita.

It was a silent ride to Plymouth. Everyone was too tired, everyone just wanted the comfortable bed in the room. I just wanted to sleep. So, it wasn't long before I went to my dreamland. OH! No dream, it was a deep sleep. Only KaE stayed awake until we arrived in MARJON. kesian... terpaksa stay awake sorang-sorang...

cis, sempat pulak main game time berehat sekejap

It was fun, and interesting to see lots of young Malaysians in such event. I'm hoping to come back again, with better aim in badminton. And if we have time, stroll around the University and snap some more pictures. hehehe amin...

LONELY

hari ni saya start training kat Peninsula, hospital kat Plymouth nih. Tadi pagi bangun lambat, berlari-lari pergi tempat kerja (padan muka kau, tirah). Sampai kat kaunter, Barry the Security Guard sambut...heheh...memang rase secured pun; mati-mati ingat akan kena lecture dengan ketua unit...mujur tak...

Bermulalah tugas saya sebagai Catering Assistant; tengok-tengok je hari ni. Fuhh, pening jugak tengok cara diorang nih... 'breakfast, tea, dinner, supper'...err...bila masa patient2 ni nak berhenti makan? ishk...hahaha tu cerita sampingan...

hati saya sayu; semua pesakit dan hampir semua kakitangan orang-orang tua, orang-orang yang berumur. Sue, Ruth, Barry dan Linda; semuanya sudah nampak garis-garis usia pada wajah mereka. Usia yang pada fikiran saya, sudah boleh berehat di rumah. Tapi, mereka masih bekerja dan komited terhadap tugas masing-masing. Sepanjang saya berada di hospital hari ni, melawat setiap wad berkali-kali; saya cuma nampak wajah-wajah yang kesunyian. Kalau yang bertuah, dapatlah duduk dengan sekurang-kurangnye seorang teman sebilik. Itulah teman berbual mereka. Kalau tak kerana tugas, saya mahu sahaja duduk bersama mak cik-mak cik orang putih ni dan mendengar kisah mereka. Sayang seribu kali sayang, kefahaman saya dalam Bahasa Inggeris sangat terhad dan saya kira, semakin merosot semenjak akhir-akhir ini.

Kalau di Malaysia, (menurut pengalaman saya), orang tua yang terlantar di hospital ada sahaja anak-beranak datang melawat. Tapi, mungkin itu cuma pengamatan yang lemah dari saya. Mungkin budaya di sini, orang-orang tua tetap mahu berdikari tanpa perlu bergantung pada anak-anak. Mungkin dalam kehidupan ini, mereka tak punyai zuriat? ah, wallahua'lam.

Lecak-lecak di sepanjang jalan ke tempat kerja tadi, masih berbekas pada seluar. Penat menghayun langkah tadi masih bersisa. dan saya terkenang ibu dan bapak saya, yang saban hari mengunggah tulang empat kerat mereka untuk mencari rezeki buat kami sekeluarga. Ah, hina rasanya kalau tak mampu menilai setitis keringat mereka. InsyaAllah, moga Allah ikatkan hati-hati kami dengan taliNya. dan Moga Allah tidak menggelapkan hati saya untuk meninggalkan mereka berseorangan. semoga hari tua mereka penuh dengan kasih-sayang dan jauh dari kesunyian. Amin.

minority

Learning to live in other places where your race is the minority is a tough experience.



Learning to live in Plymouth, for example, is a valueable one. Here I finally understand why the minority races work harder than the majority parties. Di sini, tak ada istilah 'anak emas' bagi kami.



Just because there are a lot of Malaysians playing badminton for Marjon, our club was being ridiculed by some parties.

We have to cancelled the game just because there was no driver to send us to the tournamnet places.



Right now there's a firework display on marjon's sky...but i dont have any heart to watch it...

My brother's doa; my sister's trustworthiness

I was talking to my brother via Skype...and just now he taught me a doa:

"Ya Allah, Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani,

Yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Kuasa;

Berikanlah aku keistimewaan yang tiada pada orang lain..."

"Dear Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful,

The All Hearing, The Almighty;

Grant me a gift of which has not been bestowed to others..."

And then, I said to him, "But I'm not strong, Afiq...mentally, I'm not prepared." err what sort of gift? like the sixth sense? no~~~

And he said another doa for me, "Listen, Kak Long. Your gift might not be in terms of special power. But may Allah make you a very strong-willed person, with good patience, with high endurance, with heart full of love to others... Amin, Ya Allah."

And then, my eyes became wet with tears; Amin, Ya Allah. I was so touched, I bit my lips, preventing any sob from his hearing. I said, "Thank you, brother. Amin, Ya Allah." I was comparing my self with my mom. She has the most beautiful heart among the people I've met in my life, who has a great patience...no! More likely a beautiful patience, and never put herself before others. On the other hand, I'm way too far from my mom's. But, I'm hoping to be like her some day.

And then, Afiq gave the phone to Anis, my Kak Cik, on my request. I could feel that she felt neglected as Afiq and I were talking for the past 2 hours. Shyly, she refused to admit how jealous she felt, and we could not stop laughing. (Yes, I'm not emotionally stable hehehe, one minute crying and another minute laughing). She mentioned about my nearly 'antique' cupboard which has no door. And then I remembered something; my belongings.

I said to Kak Cik, "Kak Cik, please look after my belongings. If you find anything abnormal, or anything that might embarrass me, please keep it somewhere safe. I trust you. Don't let others know, okay?"...well, when I was still unmatured, I did a lot of naughty things...which often been kept as drawings...heheh

To my amusement, Kak Cik replied, "emm...our cousin found something in your cupboard, and asked me to look through the book. But I know it might be yours and I refused to give her the permission. I told her that I myself did not dare to peek through Kak Long's book, so I hid it somewhere."

And I'm so proud that Kak Cik, at her age, understands the meaning of responsibility, trust, and protecting the family. Despite the fact that the book was just a sketch book, nevertheless I felt proud to be protected by my own little sister. I'm so wanting to go back and hug my family now!

Ya Allah, ikatkan hati-hati kami kerana-Mu, Ya Allah. Amin.

Ghuraba (Strangers)

'This is a video clip that shows "Ikhwanul Muslimeen" prisoners in Egypt during the time when Syed Qutb was in jail. In the video the prisoners are in a jail cell and have been sentenced to death. And one of the prisoner starts to recite a poetry known as "Ghurabaa"(Strangers). Subhanallah, it is not dificult to feel their pain.. May Allah (swt) give them jannatul firdaws... '

Seorang kawan saya bagitahu, orang-orang Ikhwanul Muslimin nih sentiasa berfikiran positif. Bagi mereka, kalau tak masuk penjara, diorang akan terus berdakwah menyebarkan Islam. Kalau masuk penjara pun, tak apa. Sebab, bagi brothers nih, masuk penjara bermakna diorang ada lebih masa untuk beribadat. Jadi, tak ada penyesalan bagi mereka. Yang penting, mereka berusaha bersungguh-sungguh dalam menegakkan syiar Islam...

*haih...tirah, setitis darah pun belum kau korbankan untuk Islam...*

Red Riding Hood

watch this...tengok tau hehe

group kami :) fayadh, nadhirah n me!!

fayadh as Mr. Wolf

nadhirah as Grandma

me? hehehe mother's hand n the screen cleaner (^^,)v

well done, korang...salute abes ar...jadi je watak masing-masing...saye duk belakang tirai sakit perut gelak dgn budak2 lain hehehe

well, hari ni seronok...main dengan bayang-bayang...

penat...tapi puas (^0^)v

hari nih saje mengekor nabilah n moon ke city centre. Diorang pegi buat National Insurance nyer number; saye? hehe saye pegi cari gerai yang jual nasi + kuah kari...mmmmm (pikir je pun dah terbau-bau kari dia tuh)... Semalam pun dah pegi beli, pakcik tuh dah kenal dah muke saye...tak tahan betul, macam dh addicted to curry (><) makan as a breakfast pulak tuh.

pastu jumpa Syaz n KaE kat Sportsworld...borong barang macam orang bagi free heheh...bila keluar dengan dua shopaholic nih (quote from Syaz n KaE), semua barang nampak macam cantik ; affordable (walaupun realitinya tak hehe). dalam kedai tuh, kitorang naik turun guna lif, barang banyak sangat, tak larat nak jalan sampai kat tempat escalator (tapi, lif dia nih, pening la, saye jadi unstable sekejap bila keluar dari lif, rasa macam lantai tuh bergoyang)...duduk kat kedai tu pun dah berapa jam, dari 11 kot sampai 2 lebih...pastu baru perasan, "Alamak! dah nak dekat pukul 3!"
Pukul 3ptg sampai 5ptg sepatutnye ada latihan badminton (memang ada pun, saye, moon n syaz la yang lambat...), maka berjalanlah kami dengan lajunya; nak lari tak mampu, penat...

Selama naik teksi balik ke kolej, saya banyak berdiam diri; sebab nak melawan rasa pening... Pak Cik teksi nih baiklah, dia bagi nama ubat untuk motion sickness (kene cari ASAP). sampai-sampai kolej, dah pukul 3 lebih. yang lain semua dah ada kat dalam dewan...sorry korang...dengan pening-pening kepalanye, saye main je la...(X.x) semput sungguh nak mengejar; tak larat main single...pukul bola sesuka hati je la...disebabkan saye n syaz n moon cume dapat main untuk 1 jam sahaja, kitorang tempah balik court pukul 6pm-7pm...main sampai penat, sampai pening hohoho...esok pun kitorang tempah :)(GIRLS, BADMINTON AT 3PM-5PM, SPORTS HALL 2)

itu la cerita hari ini secara ringkasnye... now, i need a space in my room (there's too many things on the floor, i could barely see the carpet hehe)...clean up, clean up! do laundry!

perubahan

(it just a reminder for me n my friends...especially kaum Hawa nih...)

sejak ada kamera sendiri nih, saye seronok amik gambar sana, amik gambar sini... i tried to capture, if possible, every significant moment in my life, n others' of course...

setiap gambar tuh, pasti ada kenangan yang tak dapat dilupakan, mesti ada cerita di sebaliknya...kadang-kadang ada perubahan yang berlaku yang kita terlepas pandang; dan gambar2 yang kita ambil nih lambat-laun akan menolong kita mengenalpasti apa yang berlaku dalam hari-hari yang sudah lepas...(saye makin tembam, ye saye tau heheh)...

ada kawan-kawan kita yang berubah ke arah lebih baik, alhamdulillah (saya pun nak jugak masuk dalam golongan yang dah berhijrah nih, amin)...tapi, mungkin yang tak bernasib baik, berubah ke arah yang satu lagi...dua-dua kes pun kena ada orang membantu...ini peranan kawan (Ya Allah, ini peringatan untuk saya jugak)...

kes 1: katakan si A nih dh terdorong ke arah kurang baik, maka kawan si A nih, iaitu si B, kene tarik si A balik. B tak boleh asyik setuju dgn A dgn alasan menjaga hati A, tapi approach si B kene bijaksana...tak boleh terjah je... kepada si A pulak, janganlah asyik nak tolak si B pergi, jangan keraskan hati. Kebenaran tu perit, kan? si B bukan 100% baik, ye kita tahu, dia bukan maksum dan dia tidak sempurna...jadi, janganlah kelemahan si B menjadi alasan untuk A menolak ajakan B ke arah kebaikan...OK.

kes 2: (kite gune huruf lain..huhu) si Z nih dah sedar dia lalai selama nih dan mahu berubah menjadi insan yang lebih baik...orang macam nih yang perlukan sokongan daripada kawan2 dia. JANGAN LEMAHKAN SEMANGAT si Z...

"Rilek la..aku pun bukan baik sangat"

"Eleh, dulu ko tu lagi teruk daripada aku"

macam pernah dengar ke? emmm, sebenarnye, ade lagi komen yang lagi teruk , tapi saye pun tak mampu nak tulis huhu maafkan saye...

Y (kawan si Z) kalau tak mampu tolong secara terang-terangan, secara diam-diam pun boleh...Contohnye, macam gambar... Si Z nih suka amik gambar, n suka upload gambar...n banyak gambar Z yang dulu-dulu tak tutup aurat (contohnye)... Jadi, setelah dia berubah, dia pun segan la nak tayang kat umum gambar2 sedemikian. Tapi, masalahnye ade gambar si Z nih dalam page si Y (gambar tak tutup aurat). maka, Y kena amik perhatian pasal hal nih... sebagai kawan, Y pun kene tolong menjaga aurat dan maruah si Z (faham-faham, ye...) Mungkin Z segan nak bgtau Y supaya tak letak gambar dia tak tutup aurat, nak jaga hati Y...kan?

Manusia nih bukan sifatnya statik...ada perubahan yang perlu dilalui dalam proses mematangkan diri. Perubahan itu bukan sesuatu perkara yang mudah. Perlu ada satu kekuatan untuk berubah. Minta Allah jangan buatkan hati kita berbolak-balik.

"Syaikhul Islam Ibnu Taimiyah telah menyebutkan "Kebahagiaan dalam bergaul dengan orang akn diraih jika engkau bergaul dengan mereka karena Allah, engkau mengharapkan ridha Allah dan tidak mengharapkan ridha mereka, engkau takut kepada Allah dan tidak takut kepada mereka, engkau berbuat baik kepada mereka karena mengharap pahala dari Allah dan tidak balasan dari mereka, engkau tidak menzhalimi mereka karena takut kepada Allah dan tidak takut kepada mereka. Sebagaimana disebutkan juga di dalam sebuah atsar, "Berharaplah pahala kepada Allah dalam urusan manusia, dan jangan berharap balasan kepada manusia dalam urusan Allah. Takutlah pada Allah dalam urusan manusia dan jangan takut kepada manusia dalam urusan Allah."

Anis Fakhriah binti Dahman

dear Kak Cik,
sorry Kak Long takde kat sana time Kak Cik amik exam PMR nih... i wish you good luck, and i'll pray the best of you... Kawan-kawan Kak Long pun wish Kak Cik good luck...
Kak Cik dah usaha, kan? jadi, buat la yang terbaik... Allah tahu apa yang Kak Cik dah lalui... jangan takut, Allah ada...
ingat, ibu dan bapak sayang kita semua...

re: time management=zero

tak jadik masuk jiu jitsu... tak jadik masuk basketball...x mampu (><)...n mim-alif-lam-sin hehe

awak...

for the past few months, i've been avoiding someone... and i don't have any clue whether avoiding that person is a wise thing to do...

penat, ye memang penat main sorok-sorok macam nih...i'm trying to be invisible to that person; worse, i'm trying to make my own self believe that i don't exist whenever that person is nearby... worst, when i can't fully dissappear from that person's life...

masing-masing dengan ego masing-masing...tak mahu mengalah...at the end, masing-masing merana

mintak maaf bukan sesuatu yang mudah...apalagi kalau berhadapan dengan orang yang kurang menunjukkan emosi...i'm making a fool to myself when i believe that that person could feel relief if i bow down first...well, at first when i asked for forgiveness, i don't have any assumption of what that person's answer might be...but now, i have the conclusion, "JUST SHUT UP AND HOPE BOTH OF US HAVE AMNESIA"

sometimes, whenever i feel that the person is cooling down and letting things go, i would accidently read something from that person stating how miserable the world is because of me...i'm 100% worth to be blamed, according to that person..humph...

hamba Allah ini, ada satu tembok besar mengelilingi hati dia...sukar untuk dipecahkan...sukar untuk menjenguk hati dia nih...kalaulah dia baca apa yang saya tulis nih, senang saya nak bagitau...Dia tak buka hati dia pada orang lain, macam mana orang lain nak buka hati mereka pada dia? (readers, masalah kt sini, saye tak pandai menyusun ayat yang indah, yang terkesan, yang maksudnya sama seperti apa yang terbuku di dalam hati...kadang-kadang, things went worse whenever i tried to fix it verbally)...

Duhai hamba Allah,
saya ini manusia biasa, awak juga manusia biasa... masing-masing ada kelemahannya...
saya pohon maaf, tapi awak rasa maaf saya itu tak ikhlas..maka awak biarkan...
saya jauhkan diri dari awak supaya awak selesa tanpa gangguan saya, tapi awak rasa saya anggap awak macam barang yang perlu dibuang...
saya tak faham~~~

bukan senang seseorang nak mintak maaf tau...bukan senang (dalam kes ini) untuk saya menebalkan muka untuk minta maaf pada awak...bukan senang nak kuatkan hati supaya minta maaf pada orang...bukan senang nak susun ayat bila jantung berdegup laju...but ur expression?*eheh priceless...

apa yang perlu saya buat? open apologize? so that every one could witness it? spread emails? so that every one could read it? nanti awak kata saya tak sincere pulak, nak menunjuk-nunjuk saya baik pulak...what else can i do? kalau saya asyik mintak maaf, nanti awak rasa saya lagi tak sincere; keep on harrassing you days and nights for forgiveness...ape kes, kan? kalau saya buat sesuatu untuk awak, nnti awak kata saya nak bodek, nak ampu awak... kalau semua telahan saya ni tak benar, Alhamdulillah...

arghh...apa saya tulis nih...luahan perasaan? sorry, blog... just need a space to write 'em down...

all i know, i'm not a good friend...tak mampu tegur bila saya rasa dia buat something yang went against my belief of Islam...saya rasa pasal itu kot...ye...dia buat something yang saya tau salah, tapi saya jadi pak turut, saya butakan mata saya dan berpura-pura saya tak nampak dia buat...saya rasa, inilah jalan kami, jalan yang terpisah...dan saya dah tak mampu nak ikut jalan dia lagi...

saya cuma harap, dia nampak jalan yang saya lalui ini dan jumpa pintu masuknya...

to someone...

of two roads diverged in the wood,
i followed the path u choose
but along the way, i found it unbearable for me and hurt my feet,
what seemed beautiful to you did not make me feel so...

of two roads diverged in the wood,
i then took the one you didn't choose,
but i kept glancing at my back, wishing you will follow
wishing you could see what i saw at the end of my road
wishing you could understand the path i chose could fit us both...

of two roads diverged in the wood,
the sound of your footsteps are getting fainter and fainter,
seems the paths brought us apart of one another...
should they never cross each other's again
but we have no knowledge
of what lies ahead...

anak cucu cicit Hajah Jarah dan Haji Ngah

ini belum cukup...belum masuk famili Pak Ngah n Nyah, famili Pak De n De, famili Pak Su n Cu...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Alhamdulillah, Allah panjangkan usia saya untuk merasai lagi kedatangan Syawal. Semalam, hari pertama beraya jauh dari keluarga. Kempunan makan itulah, inilah, macam-macamlah..hehe... Nak raya sangat pun tak boleh, ade kelas sampai petang...huhu...

Tapi, dalam senggang masa yang ada, ada insan yang baik hati, jemput saya menjamah makanan Hari Raya...emmm...sangat sedap, sangat nostalgik...nama pun ala kadar heheh...thanks korang!

Hari nih dah raya ke-dua dkt UK...tapi Malaysia baru yang pertama...Walau apa pun, i have had a very good time today...

1) lunch di umah 38...(makan dgn gumbira)

dah x ingat apa nama juadah hari nih...tapi ade kuih raye sekali..hehe...

2)dinner di umah 35... (korang, nasi minyak tuh sangat addictive, okay... x bley stop makan ishk)...

sekali tuan rumah perasan pulak saye n housemate x balik-balik lagi...hehe dah la datang awal sekali...balik pulak lambat sekali heheh...sambung makan lagi pas semua orang balik :P banyak gelak tau...cikgu saye pernah pesan, gelak kuat-kuat naik 5kg...(huhu now i know kenapa berat badan lepas makan naik dgn mendadak kehkehkeh hehe)

3) dpt gambar raya dari Malaysia...dapat tengok hampir semua ahli keluarga :)

sebenarnye, saya tak rasa sedih pun beraya jauh dari famili...sebab kawan-kawan ada, plus, the technology is so advanced nowadays that you don't really feel the distance between u n ur family (in this case, me n my family)...

Tapi, bila sepupu saya uploadkan gambar2 raya di Terengganu kpd saya (saya yang mintak sebenarnye in the first place huhu), tiba-tiba saya jadi sayu...rasa sayu sangat tengok wajah ibu saya...rasa sayu tengok gambar keluarga kami yang tak lengkap tahun ini..rasa sayu tengok kak cik seorang sedangkan orang lain dengan kakak masing-masing...

Rasa terkilan sebab tak dapat berkumpul sama-sama...tahun ini, macam yang saya katakan dalam entry yang lepas, semua orang balik ke Terengganu...semua 68orang...

bila tengok gambar-gambar diorang nih, memang rasa nak balik beraya di Terengganu jugak...tak tahu bila lagi boleh buat kumpul ramai2 macam nih...paling cepat pun, 2 tahun lagi...

Maka hati, bersabarlah...sob sob (jap, duit raye diorang simpan ke tak huhu)