dan nyawa yang satu

22 tahun....

and i've received so much love from all of you...

Bapak was the scariest person for me, and still he is...
i think i know now how troubling it was for him to make me behaved...

"in a few hours from now u be reaching to a new height in your life. My little girl has become a young n mature lady. As a father seieng you growing up so fast makes me proud of you. May Allah Almighty gives the loves, protections, blessings and your wishes to come true always in your life ahead. wishing you many happy returns of the day. 'Happy Birthday'."

Bapak was the first to send me the 22nd birthday message. I think, he's like me... so incompetent when expressing his feeling verbally. hehhee... I think, that makes him chumel... I love you, bapak!

Ibu pulak...
Usually she's not talkative. But, try making her angry...she would nag and nag and nag all day...hehehe
I should understand that that wouldn't be the case if she didn't care...

Her microphone wasn't working, so, I spent the day looking at ibu via skype. She typed, and I talked. Did she wish me for my birthday? She struggled at first, coz she's not used to it. And it didn't bother me too, coz, I know she knows that I know she knows. get what i mean??

The one who is always excited on birthdays is my Kak Wa. She loves cakes. But only cakes from SWEEDEN bakery. Nope. It's not as stylish as Secret Recipe, but I think it has a better feel on your tastebuds; my tastebuds. Haish...two birthdays without Kak Wa's favourite Black Forest cake...I'm so gonna ask her to buy me one when I reach Malaysia! InsyaAllah (mati tak tahu bila huhu)...

Growing up in a family who's not used to having birthday celebrations, having a group of people singing me birthday songs have already overwhelmed me. OK. OK. No crying ok.

So, my dear family and friends, jazakallah for all the gifts and for all the love you gave me... Allah je boleh balas. Amin.

oh! and the mee goreng and nasi ayam! how can I forget food that filled up my heart?? hehehe

things to ponder

ralat: WHAT'S YOUR DEFINITION OF MODESTY?

escapism

escapism? kronik...

kenapa? kenapa? kenapa?
sebab...

tak sabar...
tak kuat...
tak tahu?...(T_T)

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station....What more can I say.

Al-Hasyr

Semalam adalah satu perkongsian ruhani yang sangat panjang (7pm hingga 1am), tapi tidak mencukupi (tidak melegakan dahaga kami, (Masyitah 2009)). Dari satu topik ke topik yang lain, isunya menular :)

Usrah dimulakan dengan tadabbur surah Al-Hasyr. 24 ayat yang begitu mendalam maknanya.

Ayat 1: "Apa yang ada di langit dan apa yang ada di bumi bertasbih kepada Allah..."

Pernah tak bila hati gundah, atau jiwa resah, kita keluar dari rumah dan duduk menikmati bunyi-bunyi alam? Bunyi ombak, bunyi angin yang menderu, bunyi rintik hujan... semuanya menjadi halwa telinga yang menenangkan. Menenangkan. Bunyi-bunyi alam itu sebenarnya satu orkestra tasbih yang tak henti-henti dari daun pokok, awan di langit mahupun batu yang tersembunyi di balik rumput. Sesuai untuk menjadi santapan otak yang penat.

Pernah ke masjid di mana penghuninya sentiasa melantunkan alunan tasbih berpanjangan? Katakanlah pula, hari yang dilawati itu, ada majlis tahlil. Sanggup tak kalian melakukan maksiat di dalam masjid? Aurat pun kalian begitu berhati-hati menjaganya.

Bagaimana pula kalau kalian cuma dikelilingi alam? Walhal, alam ini tidak henti-henti berzikir, tak henti-henti bertasbih. Atau, adakah kalian cuma tidak melakukan maksiat kerana takut dilihat manusia?

Dalam surah Al-Hasyr, ayat 13: Sesungguhnya dalam hati mereka, kamu (muslimin) lebih ditakuti daripada Allah.

Siapakah 'mereka' yang dimaksudkan dalam ayat 13 ini? 'Mereka' merujuk kepada orang-orang munafik. Takut pada manusia lebih daripada takutkan Allah, adalah ciri-ciri orang munafik. Sebabnya, mereka cuma tidak melakukan sesuatu kesalahan apabila ada orang lain di sekeliling. Walhal, yang menjadi penentu terakhir nasib di Akhirat nanti adalah Allah SWT.

Al-Hasyr, ayat 18: Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertakwalah kepada Allah dan hendaklah setiap orang memperhatikan apa yang telah diperbuatnya untuk hari esok (akhirat), dan bertakwalah kepada Allah. Sungguh, Allah Mahateliti terhadap apa yang kamu kerjakan.

Takwa itu merujuk kepada perasaan takut dan mengharap. Jadi, kalau benar-benar mahu beriman, bertakwalah hanya kepada Allah.

Surah ini juga menyarankan umat Islam bersatu dan jangan gentar terhadap musuh. Kadang-kadang kita lihat golongan yang menentang Islam amat kuat kerana pergabungan mereka. Namun, Allah sudah berfirman, "...kamu kira mereka itu bersatu padahal hati mereka terpecah belah..." (al-Hasyr: 14).

Kuatnya umat Islam, kerana mereka bersatu. Lihat sahaja pada sejarah bangsa Arab yang sememangnya hidup berpuak-puak sebelum Islam. Sentiasa bertelagah dan menjatuhkan kabilah yang lain. Namun, apabila Islam datang, dalam kisah hijrah contohnya, Rasulullah SAW mempersaudarakan golongan Muhajirin dan Ansar. Kuatnya Islam itu kerana adanya ikatan yang kuat antara hati-hati orang mukmin, dengan izin Allah.

Musuh Islam sangat takut pada kekuatan persaudaraan orang Mukmin. Dan kekuatan inilah yang mahu dilenyapkan mereka. Jalannya? Tanamkan hasad dengki dalam jiwa orang mukmin terhadap saudara mereka.

Bahayanya hasad dengki sudah diceritakan dalam al-Quran berulang kali. Pertama, dengki Iblis pada Adam yang mendapat kemuliaan sehinggakan Iblis berjaya menghasut Adam mendekati pohon terlarang. Kedua, dengki Qabil pada Habil sehinggakan Qabil mengambil tindakan drastik membunuh saudaranya. Ketiga, dengkinya saudara nabi Yusuf sehingga menjadi daya penggerak mereka membuang Yusuf ke dalam telaga.

Perasaan dengki ini, bak kata Mira, tak dapat dikawal bila munculnya. Tapi, boleh dikawal penularannya. Macam kanser, yang tak dapat dijangka kemunculannya, tapi ada penyembuh yang berkesan jika dapat dikenalpasti semenjak awal.

"Ya Tuhan kami, ampunilah kami dan saudara-saudara kami yang telah beriman terlebih dahulu dari kami, dan janganlah Engkau tanamkan kedengkian dalam hati kami terhadap orang-orang yang beriman. Ya Tuhan kami, sungguh, Engkau Maha Penyantun, Maha Penyayang." (Al-Hasyr: 10)

coz it's yours

I went to Poundland and bought a cheap microphone. Yea! Finally I could videocall my family in Terengganu (I accidently stepped on my previous mic and crushed it under my heavy foot T_T). I was so excited that the first thing I did (when I went back into my room) was to unpacked the mic and plugged it in. hehehe. Excited.

Ok. I dialled my house number. Ring...ring...ring....

"Hello?" oh, Kak Wa picked up the phone.

"Hello, Wa! Kak Long ni!" I couldn't stopped smiling.

"Hello?" eh....

"Hello, Wa. Tak dengar ke?"

"Hello? Hello? Hello?" ....Kak Wa kept on repeating 'hello' like a broken record. I looked at the mic. CIS! KLIK. Kak Wa was no longer on the line.

Yup. The one-pound mic didn't function the way it should have been. I was very frustrated and threw it away immediately.

**************************

If there is something that you own, fails to perform the way you want it to be... will you, as the producer or creator, throw it away? You can, if you want. You can do whatever you want with it, because it's yours...right?

So, if there is something that Allah owns, fails to perform the way He wants it to be... will He, as the producer or creator, throw it away? Allah Almighty can, if He wants. He can do whatever He wants with it, because it's His...right?

Logically, a creation that fails to perform the way it should be, is just as good as being thrown away, right? If we, humanbeings (which existance are to be the 'abid' to Allah and 'khalifah' on earth) fail to meet the expectations, shouldn't Allah just make us vanish from His sight?

Oh....

But Allah didn't do so. His love is greater than any love. That's why He provides us 'time', the prophets and the Qur'an to help us find the purpose of our creation.

*Ok. What will I feel if my microphone could be repaired? Walaweh! Mesti la happy~~ Akan ku lap mikrofon tu setiap hari*

Can you imagine, how please Allah is if His servants finally submit to Him? Allah is too happy that He's willing to provide a house in the jannah to those who perform Fajr prayer. Woha! 5 minutes of ibadah, and you get a house for eternity?? T.T too generous....