tarian dan aku

Sejak kecil, tarian sudah mula menjadi sebahagian darah daging saya. Adrenalin yang mengalir tiap kali saya rancak melangkah di atas pentas makin melebarkan senyuman saya. Indahnya perasaan ketika melaksanakan satu-satu langkah tarian bukan sesuatu yang dapat saya gambarkan melalui kata-kata. Bukan hadiah atau penghargaan personal di akhir persembahan yang saya buru....cukup kalau tarian itu berjaya membuatkan hadirin menghargai nilai tarian itu.





Aduhai, saya sering ditolak daripada kumpulan tarian dek saiz badan (well, size does matter). Kadang-kadang disuruh menari tarian yang memang tak kena dengan jiwa saya. Namun, itu bukan alasan saya untuk mengangkat bendera putih dan meninggalkan lapangan ini.





Jiwa saya memberontak bilamana tidak dibenarkan perempuan menari. Aduh, bikin gawat nih. Gawat tak gawat, syariat harus dilaksanakan. Kadang-kadang, hati ini selalu didera oleh nafsu. Keinginan untuk menari itu mungkin didorong oleh hawa nafsu. Maaf, saya bukan orang yang ahli dalam membincangkan kisah akal dan nafsu.





Mungkin ada orang yang cuba menyangkal kesusahan yang saya alami.


"Ala, kalau tak nak menari, tak payah la menari." *rolling eyes*





Ishk. Penat tahu, berperang dengan keinginan-keinginan menari yang terpendam. Penat menolak bisikan-bisikan yang tak jemu-jemu bertandang. Hati ini sangat mudah terusik, sangat mudah berubah pendirian. Kadang-kadang saya rasa tak salah pun tarian Melayu yang ada sopan-santunnya. Kita bukan jual diri, kita nak buat persembahan supaya orang tahu budaya kita yang kaya dengan tarian. Tapi, ada ustaz tuh cakap kat saya, "Kalau ada penonton kamu di kalangan laki-laki, sudah tak bernafsukah lelaki-lelaki tersebut?"

Tentulah saya diam, tak tahu apa nak jawab.




Orang yang minatnya bukan pada tarian, mungkin tak mengalami masalah. Tapi, tanyalah pada sesiapa yang hatinya sudah terikat pada tarian; Jiwa mereka secara naturalnya akan membantah dan menangis di awal peringkat.





Sekarang cuma menari di dalam bilik. Tak apa. tapi, x ade tujuan yang nyata hehe.

Indian advert

I encountered a series of Indian advertisements on Youtube (wah wah, so banyak free time eh?).





This one is about permanent markers. I couldn't understand at first coz I didn't read the explaination at the beginning of this video. Now, I've watched it for more than a dozen times, still I couldn't stop smiling. No need for handsome actor nor beautiful actress to get addicted to this advert. The emotions of happily married couple are well-potrayed in this short 'drama' (just my personal opinion..heheh).

OK. The video below is specially dedicated to those who smoke in public without any consideration to other people.





haih...the world is polluted enough even without you smokers. But, pity la the non-smokers who are trying hard to inhale clean air...

Suprisingly, the Indians have a good sense of humour, and some adverts are hysterically funny. Just sharing a few laughs with you readers. Peace.

a plate of sand, a bowl of dust

I've had been trained at Peninsula Hospital for three days as a catering assisstant. The chore is preparing the food for breakfast, dinner (we call this one as lunch), and supper (which is equivalent to our dinner). But, between those main meals, you need to serve tea and coffee which i myself already lost count. (Aiyah, did i already mention all of the chores in the other entry? nevermind, i won't bore you readers about the chores anymore heheh).

Take a look at this picture:

Food is a scarce thing at this place, and this boy is an orphan who strives each day just to find enough food to keep him alive. Even if it is scattered on the floor, mixed with sand and dust, he needs to force himself to swallow whatever his little fingers could gather. He doesn't have another choice anyway.

I first saw this picture on my friend's friendster profile, and couldn't resist from grabbing it the next second. I couldn't get rid of this picture, as it already printed a vivid image in my mind. A scene telling you that the most important point is "food for life" not "life for food".

Why did I mention about Peninsula, and the next thing I wrote is about that boy eating unhygenic food? Well, during the three days in training, I 'was forced' to throw away the leftover food. It gave me such a pain, as this picture kept on emerging in front of my eyes, as if the boy was looking intensely towards me. As if he was shouting out loud; "I'm here striving for a mouthful of food, and you there easily throw plates and plates of them away!"

It just not the right thing to do (there) if you keep all the extra food. On Saturday, there was a lot of extra food, and they were all sent into the disposal machine. I sighed every single time I needed to scrap the food off the plates into that machine, until my collegue gave me a weird look. It seems as if I'm a weirdo, experiencing and explaining all these things that happened in my head. But, it's a good reflection on my life.

Sometimes, we take things for granted. and of course, 'we don't miss the water until it's gone'. I went to Egypt, and kept on grumbling about being hungry. I forgot that other people in the journey were also had had not eaten since morning. They were all very patient; I wasn't. I kept on fixing my eyes to find a food stall or whatever equivalent to it; I forgot to fix my eyes on the hungry people who were so poor that they could not even afford a single plate of food.

Seeing all those good food went into the machine, I couldn't think of anthing else but that boy in the picture. I feel fortunate to live in this part of the world. I have clean water, and good food. And I don't have to wash my self with other creatures' waste water. Still, I haven't showed enough to God how grateful I should have been.

ada apa dengan nama

this is an entry dedicated to my parents.




*beginning of speech*
thank you for giving me this beautiful name.

thank you for bringing me up in such a way that i could carry this name without any shame.



ibu, bapak

tau tak nama Kak Long itu, berat maknanya,

sebab tuh anak ibu n bapak nih x pernah ringan, serupe tule je. hahaha!



Athirah...'th' tu sepatutnya dibunyikan sebgaimana huruf keempat tulisan jawi...'tsa'



Basirah...'s' tu sepatutnya dibunyikan sbgaimana huruf 'sod'



Tak ramai yang tahu macam mana nak sebut nama tuh betul2...

tapi, kalau diorang nak sebut pun, Kak Long kesian, sebab macam susah.

so, banyak la variasi sebutan tuh...

Athirah = yang utama; yang mulia

Basirah = jalan yang jelas

maka, konklusinya...ikut nama tuh, Kak Long ade mission (cewwah)

1. Maka, sebagai anak yang pertama, kenalah tonjolkan sifat-sifat yang mulia so that adik-adik tak ikut perangai buruk kakak diorang nih.

2. Tugas utama, adalah mendidik diri supaya dapat jadi orang yang mampu bawak famili ke jalan 'yang jelas' arah tujuannya. InsyaAllah.

*end of speech. ehem ehem.*

swansea

• my tali raket putus time warm-up
• pastu guna raket yang tension lagi rendah n berat
• sikit lagi bley menang- tapi tak ada rezeki ~ishk~
• my neck became stiff sebab tidur dalam mini-bus
• salah urat bahu, tekan je sakit, sampai efek tangan
• dak swansea main dgn ganas- Mira cedera ohho
• tak jumpa botor air time nak lawan tadi- terpaksa mengharap belas ehsan teammates
• ingat nak gi mintak izin minum bila nampak air orang lain, tapi ada orang tak kasik minum- siap alihkan jauh daripada budak yang dahaga nih
• stressed yang amat- beli patung penguin so that bley ramas kegeraman
• terkejut tengok bekas simpanan shuttlecocks Swansea - macam kotak harta karun...penuh dengan shuttlecocks yang tak rosak
• pinjam duit orang tuh, pinjam duit orang nih sebab tak bawak cash
• i hate day-travel!

entry yang tak tahu tajuk

if only life is so smooth,

that you only need to glide peacefully

and expect no bumps nor hindrance ahead



if only life demands nothing,

but offering fun and enjoyment

throughout the way

then God must have forgotten you

because He did nothing to make you remember Him;

or God must have not love you

because He did not test your love.

Kadang-kadang kita lupa pada Dia bilamana kita tengah lapang dan bersenang-lenang; almaklumlah, nama pun 'insan' iaitu pelupa. Maka, dengan kasihNya, Dia turunkan kesempitan dan kesusahan supaya kita nih kembali kepada Dia.

Ishk, mana ada Allah zalim. Dugaan yang Allah bagi tu, supaya kita manusia pelupa nih dapat ingat Dia balik. Kalau Allah sayang pada seseorang hambaNya tuh, Allah akan senantiasa bagi 'something' agar hamba tuh sentiasa berada dalam keadaan mengingatiNya.

"Kalau tak tahan, mintalah pada Dia. Mengadulah pada Dia. Menangislah depan Dia. Allah malu untuk membiarkan tangan-tangan yang menadah padaNya kembali kosong." Jadi, janganlah bersangka buruk pada Allah. Dia tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kekasihNya.

Maka, redha lah dengan ujian dan dugaan yang Allah bagi.

Sabar dan redha, tak sama.

Sabar; sakit dugaan tuh kita rasa, tapi kita cuba bertahan dan kita sembunyikan dari mata kasar orang sekeliling.

Redha; tak rasa sakit pun bila dapat ujian tuh, malah rasa gembira atau tak ada perasaan (tak rasa pape yang negatif la maknanya). Sebabnya, bagi orang yang redha ni, dugaan yang datang adalah anugerah yang Allah bagi. Sape tak mau anugerah? Free, beb! Dapat saham pulak tuh...saham Akhirat la...hehheh

Alkisahnya, dalam dunia nih, Allah sentiasa menguji orang-orang yang mencintaiNya. Oh, cinta sejati mana yang tak diuji? Laila dan Majnun? Romeo & Juliet? Ini kisah cinta Khaliq dan 'abid. Maka, tak ada la kisah 'if only life is so smooth and demands nothing' tuh. Sebab tanpa halangan dan cobaan, tak tersenarai la kisah-kisah 'true love' sepertimana yang kita semua dah baca sebelum nih.

Ok. Jadi, wahai cik Tirah, belajarlah untuk jadi orang yang redha dengan ketentuan Allah. Belajarlah jadi orang yang suka menerima 'anugerah' Tuhannya. Belajarlah untuk melapangkan dada pabila musibah menimpa.

(P.S. pasni, mesti Allah uji balik sebab Dia nak tengok betul ke tidak kau buat macam yang kau cakap nih. Satu prinsip kau letak, Allah akan uji nak lihat sejauh mana benar prinsip yang kau cuba tegakkan nih. Ingat, cik Tirah; REDHA.)

buckle up!

warning; jangan sangka macam malaysia nyer iklan... x lawak...siyes

fuhh...tak senang duduk jugak tengok iklan-iklan nih. Yang pentingnya, mesej sampai...

Adik-adikku, ini akibatnya kalau tak pakai seat belt, ok. Lain kali kalau Kak Long suruh pakai seat belt, pakai! Hua hua hua (arahan seorang diktator yang penyayang dan bertanggungjawab ahhaa)

Nak kata Kak Long paranoid, suka hatilah. But anything can happen. Langkah keselamatan, ok.

lupe ke tak mau?

macam banyak mende je kene buat sekarang...tapi saya lupe...AHHH selalu lupe...


i
Kene tepon Samantha...pasal kerja kat Peninsula Hospital


ii
Kene tepon Elm Surgery pasal buat appointment pasal X-ray lutut


iii
Kene tepon orang kat tempat X-ray


iv
Kene gi klinik gigi nk buat appointment...


See, semua pasal hospital, pasal doktor...ishk
Paling tak gemar pegi jumpe doktor atau apa2 yang berkaitan dengannya (ye, even Peninsula walaupun saye cume kerja sebagai catering assisstant). Hmm, mungkin tu kot sebabnye I keep on procrastinating... (ye la tuh)

setiap kali jumpe doktor, sakit otot ke, sakit sendi ke hilang...pastu, bila dah keluar dari hospital/klinik, sakit balik...

macam ada suis on/off pulak sakit nih...depan doktor, OFF. sendiri2, ON. Penat la macam ni. Tuh la pasal saya malas nak jumpa doktor. "It's all in your mind, tirah." AHhaha, senang kalo sakit-sakit tuh bley diubati dengan hipnosis. Tak payah la sakit-sakit nanti pegi jumpe doktor; hipnosis je diri sendiri...

aish, kalau la gigi yang tumbuh berlapis nih x mengganggu saya nyer lidah dan pronunciation, tak ade hatinye saya nak jumpa doktor gigi nih... I can stand the pain, but not the sound of the machine! Weng~~ wengg~~ ngeeeennnnggg~~~~~~ (bunyi macam gargaji letrik)! Aduss, sengal gigi tau...rase mcam kene gerudi.



p.s.
badan tengah sakit...berat semacam macam tengah pikul batu yang besar pulak...lenguh.
uiks, teringat kisah Bilal kene tindih dengan batu...(><')...
(xde persamaan pun kisah kau dengan Bilal tuh, tirah)...

.angan-angan.

kalau tengok cerita korea, memang seronok berangan:-

kalau hero musti tinggi

musti kaya

musti bergaya

musti ade 'brain'

and good at fighting...HIAP!hait! hiyahhh~~!!

heheh...tapi, semua kene masuk JAWI dulu, baru bley pas eheh...(^o^)>

mmm...physical appearance penting ke?

jujur, saye kate penting.

biar la orang nak kata apa pun, yang menerima akibatnya nanti, saya jugak...

biar la sedap mata memandang, sejuk hati bila berdamping,

lelaki yang saya rasa selamat bersamanya (eh, bukan body-builder ye...x seswai...saye nih pun dah ahli bina badan)

ye, saya tahu, tak ada siapa pun yang sempurna...

yang saya cari bukanlah Adam yang sempurna,

tapi, biarlah kekurangannya itu dapat saya terima,

kerana saya juga punyai kelemahan tersedia

yang saya harap tidak mencacatkan saya pada pandangannya...

hehh, tak salah berangan...tapi, salahnya bila angan-angan jadi igauan siang malam. Nanti duk berangan je...ishk...

kemahuan vs. terbaik

Dah macam rutin rasanya pergi ke gelanggang badminton. Penat, tapi tak jemu sebab adanya kawan-kawan yang semangatnya menyala-nyala (hahahhaha, moga-moga kita semua pun camtu dalam semua perkara ...erk..DUSH ><

Pulang dari latihan badminton semalam pun sama; tetap bising dengan cerita-cerita. Tapi, ada sesuatu yang mengusik perasaan saya semalam. Topiknya ringan, namun impaknya berat pada jiwa saya. Cerita pasal 'boyfriend'-'girlfriend'. mmmm....

Katakan saya tahu kawan saya suka pada seseorang, saya akan terus sokong dan usahakan agar kawan saya tuh dapat lelaki yang dia inginkan. Saya tumpang bahagia kalau kawan saya bahagia... Tergamam juga saya bilamana ditegur, "Habis tu, kau nak dia dengan mamat tuh? Setakat kawan kita tuh, mamat tuh buat main je."... lebih kurang begitulah ayatnya... Saya senyap; tak, saya tak marah dengan apa yang saya dengar sebab ada kebenaran terselit dalam kata-kata itu.

Saya tahu selama ini, saya tak berfikir panjang dalam membuat sesuatu perkara. Tapi baru semalam saya menyedari saya ini bukan insan yang kritis dalam membuat penilaian. Pada saya (yang akalnya sejemput cuma), seburuk mana pun lelaki yang diminati kawan saya tuh, saya harap lelaki itu tak akan menyebabkan kawan saya hidup susah e.g. susah hati, resah jiwa, pendam rasa... Harapan saya, lelaki yang kawan saya suka, tak akan main-mainkan kawan saya ini. Maka, saya tak sanggup highlight kan keburukan lelaki tersebut. Nampaknya, terlalu positif pun buruk akibatnya. Dan yang menerima kesannya tentulah si dara yang mengharap.

Kadang-kadang saya tengok orang ada couple, saya pun rasa nak ada couple. Tapi, bila saya fikir balik, tak apalah, saya belum bersedia. Belum bersedia dari sudut emosi. Emosi tak stabil, macam mana nak ada hubungan yang stabil? Saya belum boleh selesa dengan diri saya, macam mana saya nak buatkan si dia selesa dengan saya? eheh. Lagipun, saya tengok contoh di sekeliling, ramai yang terpaksa 'meredah hujan di tengah hari'. Saya tak sanggup.

Jadi, buat kawan-kawan, saya tumpang bahagia melihat korang bahagia, boleh? Tapi, sebab saya ini tak memahami dunia couple nih, maafkan saya kalau tak dapat menyelami perasaan korang. Tapi, saya doakan agar pilihan korang adalah pilihan terbaik yang telah Allah sediakan. Allah Maha Mengetahui, kan?

"Boleh jadi apa yang kamu suka bukanlah yang terbaik buatmu.

Dan boleh jadi perkara yang kamu tidak suka, adalah baik buatmu.

Allah pasti memberikan yang terbaik untuk hamba-hambaNya."

Kita tak tahu macam mana kisah kita nanti di hari-hari mendatang; saya cuma tahu, Allah Maha Mendengar... maka, mintalah pada Dia agar diberikan kita pilihan yang terbaik...Amin.

p.s. Terbaik, bukan sesuatu yang dapat diukur melalui banyaknya wang ringgit atau tingginya kedudukan. Bukanlah terbaik itu maksudnya nombor satu. Ia pilihan yang terbaik bila mana kita dapat mengambil iktibar dan belajar mengenal Allah dan mengenal diri. Bukankah orang-orang yang beriman sentiasa mengambil pengajaran daripada sejarah? terbaik sesuatu pilihan bila mana ia mendekatkan kita pada Illahi. insyaAllah....

Nottingham Malaysian Games 2008

grrrrr

I spent nearly one hour just now to compose a new entry! ishk, and then, due to my clumsiness, the whole thing was deleted. cit, and then, i need to find the mood again to write about the same thing. cit!

herk....

tarik nafas, lepas...tarik, lepas~~

Bismillah.

For the first time, I went to Nottingham for the prestigeous Nottingham Malaysian Games 2008. Heheh, main badminton (lagi? hahaha). Yup, I took part in singles, Moon and Patrick in mixed doubles while Ariff and basir in men singles. We all lost in the early rounds, heheh.

But winning is not as important as taking part in the game (well, if you win, it's a bonus, kan?). I'm really proud with my contingent, they have a very high sport spirit; the netball team, the football team (which combines students from Marjon and Uni Plymouth) and the badminton team all deserve a big round of applause from everyone. Oh ya! Don't forget the supporters who loyally stay by our side to give us support and continuous help. thank you~~~

The journey to Nottingham started at midnight, 7th Nov. Everybody was in their black/blue black attire, with a bundle of food stuffed in the bags. I wasn't sure what to bring, so I packed my bag with all the toiletries and some clean clothes, .....and some food....and drinks....and chocolate. hehehe...oya! the travel sickness nyer tablets...The seat was stiff, but that didn't really bother me; i could sleep in any circumstances...escpecially when I'm nerveous (the mind just shut down).

We arrived at about 5.30am on the 8th November. Too early for sure, so we stayed/slept in the bus until 6.15am. I was too hungry, so before 6.15, i already finished all the sandwiches prepared earlier. Huhu.

When it was around 8 am, the surrounding became clearer. And, believe me, it was a beautiful place. The leaves were mostly in their autumn colours, driving most of us insane taking pictures here and there. I was the one who couldn't let my hand off the camera. Cantik sangat~~ Marjon? Tak kuning semua, tau-tau dah gugur ke bumi ishk.

cepat!cepat!senyum~~

ishk hahahha korang asyik nak tengok belakang

gune timer, senyum~~

I played singles, Basir and Ariff also in singles while Moon and Patrick played mixed doubles. None of us could manage to pass through the prelimenary round. I lost in second round to Sharon from Cambridge. I thought I could win, but because she could answer all my strokes, I went blank. I didn't know what to do. I didn't play like I used to play. I lost my rhythm. Well, I did fight, but it wasn't good enough. Tak ade rezeki. Well, ada la sekali terbuat 'split' masa nak ambil shuttle kat jaring, errr, and everyone macam *gasp*! Oh, unfortunately, I didn't hit the shuttle hard enough to let it fly over the net...haih...

I know I have 'stage fright', and every time during competition, I had to fight it. The heart beats so fast, that at some points of time, u feel like your chest is going to explode and you're going to collapse. Lucky for me, there were two dear friends who kept gosok-ing my back to calm me down. In the court, I had to rely on my self, as my hands were shaking LOL. I wonder if other participants felt like me, and how they could overcome it is something I would like to hear.

All and all, it was a great experience. Worth the amount of money we spent for the long journey. I met a couple of my ex-schoolmates there, Salam and Lim Sin Wee. hahaha, both are brilliant students, straight As scorers, and both indulge in the world of badminton. I made new friends; from Sunderland , from Southampton and from Nottingham; no suprise, they are all Malaysians.

Hmm...one good thing I could feel was I didn't see the gap between races there among Malaysians; which in Malaysia was a big issue being heated over and over again for the political gains. Di sini, kurang tekanan dari pihak-pihak yang tertentu. Bebas dari kongkongan mak ayah, bebas dari tekanan politik dan bebas dari belenggu 'adat dan budaya' melampau setiap kaum. Di sini tiada siapa kenal diri mereka, di sini, mereka boleh memilih identiti sendiri. Dan kerana itulah, kebebasan memilih identiti (mungkin tidak relevan untuk MARJON), menyebabkan saya sukar mengenalpasti keturunan pelajar-pelajar yang saya temui di Nottingham. Tapi, tak mengapa. Bangsa tak sepenting agama. Kerana agama itu sahaja yang membezakan antara kita.

It was a silent ride to Plymouth. Everyone was too tired, everyone just wanted the comfortable bed in the room. I just wanted to sleep. So, it wasn't long before I went to my dreamland. OH! No dream, it was a deep sleep. Only KaE stayed awake until we arrived in MARJON. kesian... terpaksa stay awake sorang-sorang...

cis, sempat pulak main game time berehat sekejap

It was fun, and interesting to see lots of young Malaysians in such event. I'm hoping to come back again, with better aim in badminton. And if we have time, stroll around the University and snap some more pictures. hehehe amin...

LONELY

hari ni saya start training kat Peninsula, hospital kat Plymouth nih. Tadi pagi bangun lambat, berlari-lari pergi tempat kerja (padan muka kau, tirah). Sampai kat kaunter, Barry the Security Guard sambut...heheh...memang rase secured pun; mati-mati ingat akan kena lecture dengan ketua unit...mujur tak...

Bermulalah tugas saya sebagai Catering Assistant; tengok-tengok je hari ni. Fuhh, pening jugak tengok cara diorang nih... 'breakfast, tea, dinner, supper'...err...bila masa patient2 ni nak berhenti makan? ishk...hahaha tu cerita sampingan...

hati saya sayu; semua pesakit dan hampir semua kakitangan orang-orang tua, orang-orang yang berumur. Sue, Ruth, Barry dan Linda; semuanya sudah nampak garis-garis usia pada wajah mereka. Usia yang pada fikiran saya, sudah boleh berehat di rumah. Tapi, mereka masih bekerja dan komited terhadap tugas masing-masing. Sepanjang saya berada di hospital hari ni, melawat setiap wad berkali-kali; saya cuma nampak wajah-wajah yang kesunyian. Kalau yang bertuah, dapatlah duduk dengan sekurang-kurangnye seorang teman sebilik. Itulah teman berbual mereka. Kalau tak kerana tugas, saya mahu sahaja duduk bersama mak cik-mak cik orang putih ni dan mendengar kisah mereka. Sayang seribu kali sayang, kefahaman saya dalam Bahasa Inggeris sangat terhad dan saya kira, semakin merosot semenjak akhir-akhir ini.

Kalau di Malaysia, (menurut pengalaman saya), orang tua yang terlantar di hospital ada sahaja anak-beranak datang melawat. Tapi, mungkin itu cuma pengamatan yang lemah dari saya. Mungkin budaya di sini, orang-orang tua tetap mahu berdikari tanpa perlu bergantung pada anak-anak. Mungkin dalam kehidupan ini, mereka tak punyai zuriat? ah, wallahua'lam.

Lecak-lecak di sepanjang jalan ke tempat kerja tadi, masih berbekas pada seluar. Penat menghayun langkah tadi masih bersisa. dan saya terkenang ibu dan bapak saya, yang saban hari mengunggah tulang empat kerat mereka untuk mencari rezeki buat kami sekeluarga. Ah, hina rasanya kalau tak mampu menilai setitis keringat mereka. InsyaAllah, moga Allah ikatkan hati-hati kami dengan taliNya. dan Moga Allah tidak menggelapkan hati saya untuk meninggalkan mereka berseorangan. semoga hari tua mereka penuh dengan kasih-sayang dan jauh dari kesunyian. Amin.

minority

Learning to live in other places where your race is the minority is a tough experience.



Learning to live in Plymouth, for example, is a valueable one. Here I finally understand why the minority races work harder than the majority parties. Di sini, tak ada istilah 'anak emas' bagi kami.



Just because there are a lot of Malaysians playing badminton for Marjon, our club was being ridiculed by some parties.

We have to cancelled the game just because there was no driver to send us to the tournamnet places.



Right now there's a firework display on marjon's sky...but i dont have any heart to watch it...

My brother's doa; my sister's trustworthiness

I was talking to my brother via Skype...and just now he taught me a doa:

"Ya Allah, Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani,

Yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Kuasa;

Berikanlah aku keistimewaan yang tiada pada orang lain..."

"Dear Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful,

The All Hearing, The Almighty;

Grant me a gift of which has not been bestowed to others..."

And then, I said to him, "But I'm not strong, Afiq...mentally, I'm not prepared." err what sort of gift? like the sixth sense? no~~~

And he said another doa for me, "Listen, Kak Long. Your gift might not be in terms of special power. But may Allah make you a very strong-willed person, with good patience, with high endurance, with heart full of love to others... Amin, Ya Allah."

And then, my eyes became wet with tears; Amin, Ya Allah. I was so touched, I bit my lips, preventing any sob from his hearing. I said, "Thank you, brother. Amin, Ya Allah." I was comparing my self with my mom. She has the most beautiful heart among the people I've met in my life, who has a great patience...no! More likely a beautiful patience, and never put herself before others. On the other hand, I'm way too far from my mom's. But, I'm hoping to be like her some day.

And then, Afiq gave the phone to Anis, my Kak Cik, on my request. I could feel that she felt neglected as Afiq and I were talking for the past 2 hours. Shyly, she refused to admit how jealous she felt, and we could not stop laughing. (Yes, I'm not emotionally stable hehehe, one minute crying and another minute laughing). She mentioned about my nearly 'antique' cupboard which has no door. And then I remembered something; my belongings.

I said to Kak Cik, "Kak Cik, please look after my belongings. If you find anything abnormal, or anything that might embarrass me, please keep it somewhere safe. I trust you. Don't let others know, okay?"...well, when I was still unmatured, I did a lot of naughty things...which often been kept as drawings...heheh

To my amusement, Kak Cik replied, "emm...our cousin found something in your cupboard, and asked me to look through the book. But I know it might be yours and I refused to give her the permission. I told her that I myself did not dare to peek through Kak Long's book, so I hid it somewhere."

And I'm so proud that Kak Cik, at her age, understands the meaning of responsibility, trust, and protecting the family. Despite the fact that the book was just a sketch book, nevertheless I felt proud to be protected by my own little sister. I'm so wanting to go back and hug my family now!

Ya Allah, ikatkan hati-hati kami kerana-Mu, Ya Allah. Amin.